Is it even worth it?

Davina33 · 2020-08-23T06:33:56+00:00

When a man cheats, it is nothing to do with us women but everything to do with himself. He is an awful boyfriend and that's on him. Even Beyoncé got cheated on, I wouldn't be like her though and take the man back. You should continue doing your own thing for sure. At least you dumped him, you're not willing to be treated like dirt. Take time for yourself to heal.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-08-23T10:22:59+00:00

“After seeing what my mom went through with my father” - high five for awful fathers! (Sperm donors?)

If I could tell my 18 year old self something it would be :

dig in deep and take therapy seriously
do EMDR therapy (talk therapy doesn’t do shit for me)
don’t fuck around with men. Don’t date the adventurous and happy go lucky men you want to be, find women like that or become that!

Just don’t date. My gfs that had good dads are getting married to HVM or happily single with incredible careers.

Getting laid should be like on the bottom of your list. Don’t think of men. Don’t fuck with them. Focus focus focus. You can play hard and work hard without men.

MalloryDame · 2020-08-23T07:35:52+00:00

Don't bother with men for now. Do your thing, invest in yourself, do what makes you happiest, and get to a level of financial security that makes you comfortable. Enjoy your hobbies, get a solid education, build a great group of friends.

The right person will come at the right time. Never waste a day of your life worrying about dating, men, etc.

I completely get your mindset because I too witnessed a messed up marriage and my mom suffering countless times over my father. I swore I'd never go through anything similar. I don't care about kids or marriage, but I do feel a bit more open to the possibility at 28. However, I don't think I'll ever find a man who I'd feel is worthy of sharing any of that with. I'd rather adopt/get a donor and surrogate if that day comes.

My ex cheated on me too. No remorse, no apologies, just wanting to get out of the relationship asap to go try with the other girl (who happened to be my friend, too).

Men are not worth it. I wouldn't say stay celibate forever, but definitely don't make it a priority to meet men or date. Do you first. You'll feel so much happier and fulfilled and your confidence levels will soar. That will make it a lot easier to find HVM in the wild.

SuperbHalf · 2020-08-23T10:12:33+00:00

Never let yourself be treated poorly. Unfortunately, men are not half as loyal as they posture to be. If there is someone who treats you well and you like his company, then you can be open minded about that but still set firm boundaries and keep vetting. Good for you for ditching your ex, he wasn't worth your time.

You have your whole life ahead of you and hopefully life yields to something kinder than this year gave us. As an adult, you are far more likely to succeed (in general but also with a potential partner) if you know yourself, have a firm foundation, a career, a sense of self purpose and self worth. Find all those things first. Never let him treat you less than your worth.

IntrepidStorage · 2020-08-23T20:17:42+00:00

18 is the wrong age to be dating anyone other than in your own highschool or college, or tradie apprentices. You're 100% guaranteed to attract predators if you're looking outside of school settings. And even in non-predator settings, the dating pool is such crap at that age anyway. Do your own thing, the returns are better.

Tell ya what. Put $1k a month aside for the next 7 years into a S&P500 fund, now that you're 18 and legal to hold one in your own name. You'll be ahead at 65 even if you never contribute another dime, compared to someone who sets $1k a month aside from ages 25-65. And money is freedom.

Title	Is it even worth it?
Author	killerorangejuice89
Upvotes	24
Comments	5
Date	August 23, 2020 4:30 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iex2p4/is_it_even_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-it-even-worth-it.169812 https://theredarchive.com/post/169812

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