Is it ever ok to live with a partner?

elementalvirago · 2020-06-14T18:43:06+00:00

You didn’t specify whether or not they are unable to afford to living separately or if they just wanna move in to make their finances a little easier.

Moving in together only because you can’t afford to live separately is a recipe for disaster. I know many people (my former self included) who did this and then felt stuck in the relationship because they couldn’t afford to leave.

If they can both afford to live separately there’s no reason they can’t wait until they’re married to live together to pool their money and live more comfortably together.

I would encourage her to stick to her values. If she’s not comfortable moving in with him because it’s be a violation of those values then she absolutely should not. And they should be dating long enough for her to see whether or not the way he treats her is just temporary or if it’s who he is.

YveisGrey · 2020-06-14T18:33:04+00:00

Did he buy her a ring? No ring no engagement. The ring is a lump of money showing he is serious if he didn’t actually invest anything you can’t know how serious he is. So unless he officially proposed with a ring (a ring that is worth something mind you) than no she should not. If he has I think it’s okay but ultimately its up to her he also should respect her boundaries in this because some women do not believe in living together or even sex before marriage and that is their right.

Cemilyplayyy · 2020-06-14T18:09:36+00:00

I would personally not marry someone before living with them. You do NOT know somebody until you see them in all facets of their life. If she's having reservations she should definitely wait but if she really wants to marry him in a few years than she should probably try soonish. Moving out is a lot easier than getting a divorce. Edit:typo

mars888999 · 2020-06-14T18:11:36+00:00

Being engaged or married is the only time I would move in with a partner.

I think moving in when you're at least engaged is also a good way to see how you can be compatible in home life before you get married too.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-06-14T19:07:10+00:00

Is he “acting” like a husband? Paying every bill? The house is her name too? Then maybe, otherwise no

kwalden2 · 2020-06-14T19:33:56+00:00

Your friend is fresh out of college. She wants to be free. If she wanted to be engaged and planning a wedding, she (apparently) would do that. Tell her to enjoy her freedoms by living on her own. The finances will work themselves out.

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