I used to believe years ago that confidence was just a state of mind or that it was just a cope to make some peoples feel better. But I noticed something which is that as a young teenager no matter how much I used to hear that I was pretty, was spotted by a model agency more than 3 times ( but my mom refused) and I turned in some commercials, and yet I always considered my self to be barely average.
It didn’t help that many peoples praised me for being simple, especially as a kid. But when I grew up ( around 15) I noticed that the only guys I was attracting where the low value guys and the loosers. They would call me cute but the moment when I show them that I am shy and insecure , they would start to treat me like rubbish, and one of them cheated on me with a 50 years old overweight woman, just because I refused to have sex, after 5 days of dating!
I never understood why I was always treated like the bottom of the barell no matter how much I would hear how nice , smart, sweet, and pretty I was.
A douzen of guys would tell me that I was every men’s dream, that I was like a unicorn but they would never commit to me, and they end up ghosting me.
I felt that I can be as perfect as possible a guy would pick a hairy bald 120 years old woman with herpes instead of me. ( did any of you felt that before?)
However it drastically changed when I started to be confident and to stop giving a fuck about what others think. I wasn’t afraid to hit on the best looking guy of my circle even tho I got shock when he told me that he’s confused and that he always wanted to ask me out, but I gave him the impression that I wanted to be alone.
I noticed that my poor self-esteem actually made me look like a cold person.
I was surprised when I see so many girls getting treated like queens by gorgeous looking men, while I was treated like trash by questionable creature looking loosers but now I think confidence played a really big part in that.
We always hear that men overrate themselves and I think it’s the main reason why most of them can easily get a better looking partner, while women were always conditioned to be humble, which is why they even struggle to be with their looksmatch.
You can look like a Victoria’s Secret model but if you’re insecure , you will send a message which sound like «I can’t believe that you wanna be with someone like me! You must be really desperate and stupid to want me!» However we can’t help but feel a little bit proud when an arrogant picky person want to hang out with us.
I swear that since I became confident I am surprised that I started to get asked out by men I would consider my self to be lucky if they just looked at the same direction as me
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