It’s 5 am and I’ve been scrolling through tik tok and something occurred to me. I’ve come across so many men who talk about their woes to me and trauma from these “evil” and “crazy” ex girlfriends. In comparison to women I’ve talk to, me included, who tend not to bring up past relationships especially in such a weirdly aggressive way.

I think this stems from how low standards are for men that when they do terrible things, like cheat, it’s usually “oh I should’ve seen this coming.” FOR MEN though cheating? A terrible traumatic experience that has left me scorned and unable to commit to women in fear of this!! Not to say there aren’t terrible women out there, but there’s this phenomenon where men will hyper fixate on this shitty relationship. Men will use this singular bad experience to justify treating women like absolute junk for an extended period of time. This is so common place it’s ridiculous

The only time I’ve ever voluntarily brought up an ex in a negative way was when situations occur super recently and I’m still processing. For the men I’ve dated, it’s a daily occurrence that defines them as an individual. Normal people process, grieve, move on and grow.