Men with selective hearing

2340000 · 2020-02-29T19:35:21+00:00

I still work with a narcissist who sexually harassed me. He is a fucking idiot and doesn't understand bbasic info. I've learned that the best behavior is to give him as little behavior to cause drama.

Example: he "forgets" something I tell him over and over. The ego in me makes me want to flip out. Instead I calmly repeat the info in a clear but consice way. Then I turn around and go back to my work.

I give him as little of my attention and energy as possible. But I don't intentionally cause problems or drama. I don't do anything that may cause more interactions with him.

I think of this like becoming a steel wall and he's like a rock climber. Give them as few hand and foot holds to work with and eventually they will need to get attention elsewhere.

They're looking for drama and attention because having a wall to grapple with reminds them that they're alive. When you refuse to be that for them they will leave.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-02-29T22:01:01+00:00

I work with a borderline. I was given the okay by both my supervisor and DIRECTOR to not communicate or respond to emails from this self involved, super sensitive person. I don't know why they haven't been fired for singling me out yet. I've been there almost six years and am crucial to the job. And they do a job that loads of other people do and have worked there less than six months. My job is always worried about repercussions from firing people I guess.

lunan4 · 2020-03-01T00:18:20+00:00

This happens to me too often. There's this new guy to whom I've offered a lot of help (it was hard feeling lost when I was new and now I try to help newbies to make it easier for them). Our boss was mad at him because he wasn't showing advances. So I spent a whole working day with him to try make the code work. And he was doing selective hearing most of the time. So at the end I told him: please, do what I'm suggesting or I'm done with losing my time with you. That week we got really nice results but next one he went back to no advances... I think what happens here is that it's hard for him to accept that a 5 year younger woman clearly beats him (he recently switched areas and I've been working on this for 5+ years). It's so frustrating that he can't value how much I could help him during the hard first year. But I'm done with him, not losing my time again.

--wellDAM-- · 2020-02-29T18:46:47+00:00

I don’t put up with that shit at work or anywhere.

That’s not tact, go to war. Hey his job. Get him fired.

Ask nicely. For what?

Title	Men with selective hearing
Author	kromono777
Upvotes	38
Comments	12
Date	February 29, 2020 5:03 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fbfgbr/men_with_selective_hearing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-with-selective-hearing.681237 https://theredarchive.com/post/681237

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