Never again will I accept being insulted by a man. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, but make sure you learn from them.

Rdrses · 2020-05-07T22:42:44+00:00

Live and learn. My ex always found SOMETHING to be negative about. If I got my hair done and it looked great, "too bad your skin doesn't look good" ffs insecure ego driven males will neg you constantly for years to maintain a perception of superiority

FortisEtLiber_ated · 2020-05-08T00:06:50+00:00

My ex fiancé would say things like “it would be REALLY hot if you did/wore/etc.” Meanwhile, he lied about his height before we met, was overweight but made excuses...and I worried about being superficial. Patterns, not potential!

_tinyimp · 2020-05-08T04:26:24+00:00

Lol ugh I once spent nearly $200 on my first renaissance festival outfit to impress my new bf at the time and he never once complimented it even when I asked him how he liked it. If it was ‘just ok’ then why did nearly every man in the vicinity hit on me? Guess that means my outfit was downright fabulous if he had to neg THAT lol

Maisiebr · 2020-05-08T10:00:57+00:00

I was always compared to fitness models and told that my ass looks mediocre at best and is starting to sag by my ex who worked out and was fairly muscular but had a fucking beer gut at the same time because he ate like shit. My current boyfriend lives an active life filled with exercise but he's more lean than muscular (for context) and basically worships my butt (and my body, face, style, humour, personality and all). I was negged so much that I was afraid to sleep in panties at one of my best friend's home(!) because I thought it looked bad. She told me to wake the fuck up from this mindset because she can't understand how I can believe I look bad, because literally all my life people complimented my butt and how it is so round despite me being quite thin/no boobs. It's not that my worth derives from what my butt looks like, but honestly, becoming self-conscious of your best feature is truly a wakeup call.

2020-05-08T15:27:23+00:00

I'm an HSP, and whenever my ex boyfriend said something insulting to me I always told myself that I was just being too sensitive. It was just a joke, right? In the beginning of our relationship he was very sweet, but he was very unhappy with himself so after a few years I guess he lashed out at me. He gained 50 lbs during our relationship but I was fat at 125 lbs. I confided in him that all through elementary school there was a rumour that I was a lesbian and how much that hurt me. He said "oh you're Jewish, so I guess that makes you a kike dyke huh?" But if I teased him when his hair got long I was emotionally abusive. What hurt the most was that some of his coworkers called him a pussy for dating me (we were long distance for the last half). All of a sudden I got comments from him that I wasn't hot or sexy. The silver lining was that we were long distance because I was going to grad school abroad, so even as he made disparaging comments to me I was pursuing what I wanted career wise.

I remember once we were out shopping together, and we passed by a flower stand. He asked me if I would like some and I said yes, they're beautiful! He said oh I didn't really mean it, they're too expensive. He ended up dumping me over text message after 5 years.

This was my first relationship, and now I'm engaged to the most wonderful man I can imagine. We support each other and we're building a lovely life together. I'm proud of myself that after my ex dumped me, I knew I would be just fine even if I spent my life alone! I never gave up my ambitions for him during our relationship, and now I get to enjoy all of my hard work. I started to date on my terms, and I met my fiance after only being on OLD for 3 weeks (we got engaged after 3 years together). My ex is stuck in the same dead end job with no relationship in sight.

greatcathy · 2020-05-08T11:30:19+00:00

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve such mean treatment.

Conxtantin3 · 2020-05-08T04:32:40+00:00

An ex told me I looked alright, but I could lose some weight... I wasn't overweight by any means, and he knew I used to deal with eating disorders throughout my teens. I just lost it, and he made me feel like I should be apologizing. For MY feelings being hurt by HIM. Stayed with him until he dumped me for a minor he fucked up mentally before. He was a pornsick piece of work, and our whole situationship was a big mistake. Glad he's no longer in my life.

mistertbc123 · 2020-05-08T06:01:41+00:00

if they cheated in the relationship before yours it will happen while they are with you

Title	Never again will I accept being insulted by a man. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, but make sure you learn from them.
Author	babyaf
Upvotes	655
Comments	12
Date	May 7, 2020 10:21 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gfglvq/never_again_will_i_accept_being_insulted_by_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/never-again-will-i-accept-being-insulted-by-a-man.692341 https://theredarchive.com/post/692341

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