Hi ladies,

I'm here with another set of OLD questions. I've been OLD on and off for about a decade but I want to do it right by FDS this time.

I know coffee/drink dates are generally regarded as a "no," but is it possible to do one then wait for a more elaborate date (dinner/museum/bowling etc)?

Pros of a coffee date: I want to vet a guy's personal hygiene and if we click, hence the appeal of a coffee date. If it is just coffee or drinks, I can "nope" out of there sooner. And if the coffee is nearby other places, the date can be extended.

Or, should I just video chat with him at some point and wait for him to ask me out on a more elaborate date?

I got a Google Voice number in case a guy wants to take communication off an app (and I can actually talk to him prior to the date). I know a previous post said 2 days max for a guy to ask you out if you take communication off the app. If you keep communicating with a guy ON the app, how long is a reasonable time to wait for him to ask you out?

I live in west bumblef***, so how long of a distance is reasonable for a guy to travel to me? In the past, I have met guys halfway (often driving 45 to 75 mins) and it was frankly exhausting to primp, drive, have a date where a guy treats for expenses but kind of treats you like a male buddy, then you go home and have him ghost you. Are there any circumstances I should meet someone halfway?

Also, I realize the issue of safety first, so I will insist on meeting a guy somewhere rather than him picking me up and be sure to mention the important male family figures in my life. I will try to do a background check when I get a guy's first and last name but will wait the longest time possible to give my name.

Am I missing anything? Honestly, it's all so confusing but this sub helps me organize my thoughts and desires better than any books or blogs I have read. If a guy is worthy to be a part of my life, I want to be pampered #2020 😋. I worked way too hard for my accomplishments and wasted so much empathy on the wrong people, so someone really has to be a good quality person like my friends and bring on the chase/romance.