Thank you for the reminder!!! I don’t remember the user who reminded me. I will tag you. I am sorry. Also, sorry if this isn’t well organized.

First: saving sex for marriage is NOT a strategy. It’s a personal decision. People make this decision for a variety of reasons, but most of them will cite religious reasons. It is NOT a “manipulation tactic” where you bribe a man for sex in order to gain commitment as some Redditors pretend. It’s 2020. A guy can break up with you and go on tinder if he feels so desperate to have premarital sex.

Saving sex for marriage is a filter. What are we filtering for? Men with similar values (eg shared faith), men who are serious about marriage, men who believe sex should be based on love and intimacy and not on biological urges, and men who will respect physical boundaries.

I just am up front about saving sex for marriage. I say it early on. I don’t think any man has directly been scared off from me being straight up about it. However, I don’t go on tinder. I have had men be infatuated with me before and it hasn’t seemed to stop them from liking me.

I don’t attract as many men because I am not open. But the men I do at least present a more civilized and kind exterior. I think I attract fewer higher quality men rather than lots of lower quality men.

Finally, avoiding premarital sex is an easy way to focus on WHO you are dating rather than the physical aspects and the hormones that come with it. You’re able to see a person for who they truly are without being dick-no-tized and feeling attached and emotional because you had sex.

Edit: Also if you’re not waiting until marriage, that is your personal decision and I don’t judge you for it!