Dear male lurkers and FDS Queens.

A previous post inspired me to write this. The post was about another guy who didn't wanted to take a girl for a dinner date but only for a walk....

I want to tell you this (especially the male lurkers) that the only real dates turned into an relationship. From the age 16 till 23 I went on all kind of dates. Walks, eating at subway, going to the cinema only etc. But all these ''dates'' never turned into a second date. NO not because I excepted a fancy dinner, damn I was way to introverted to go to a restaurant back then. But because there was no click with the guy...

I too in that day got a lot of complains that I used them for: ''Free food and etc''. Really? In that day I worked hard and had enough money. I was busy with my own company and had a lot of other stuff to do. I didn't need any free food or company, I really had that enough of my own. I went on a ''date'' with you guys because we BOTH wanted to see if there was a click. But all these ''cheap dates'' there was no click. One guy almost cried about that his father left him, other guys kept staring at my breasts, some even tried to kiss me or touch my breasts or even my pussy! and you know what was the craziest thing? The way I dressed. I didn't dress as a slut at all! I wore a normal black jeans, with sneakers, and normal man t-shirt from a metal band! I only wore mascara and thats it! That is how I dress if you ask me to go to subway. Yet I still got assaulted!

The only dates that resulted in a relationship were the dates that were at a nice/normal place. For example my last date that turned into a relationship: The guy was 27, we met on a dating website. If I remember correctly, I was the one who first send him a message. I wasn't really sure about this guy, but my feeling said I needed to give him a chance. So after chatting for a while we continued talking on whatsapp and discord. We played games together, talked A LOT together till late in the night. We were on the same level. He never talked about sex or made jokes about. He didn't push me to go on a date. So after a while when we both felt good, we went on a date. It was the day before my birthday. We met somewhere close to my home (20 minutes by train). He had to drive about 45 minutes by car. We met were a lot of other people were around, the trainstation. (Because I came from there and I knew the way to were we wanted to go and he didn't) He stood on a good spot were I could see him from far away. He stood there nice and a good smile. He gave me very good feelings. He wore nice jeans, a cool jacket (which I really loved) and a pokémon t-shirt. (Now I hear all the FDS people screaming here, but I didn't care about that because we are both gamers and Pokémon fans) He also took good care of his face, hair etc. Wore a nice perfume and deodorant and even had a vest with him if I didn't liked the shirt.

We first drank something to see if we clicked. We both had a great time and we continued to go to my favorite arcade hall (5 minute walk) There he let me choose which games I wanted to play and even paid for it. (€20? maybe even more?) Than I asked which games he wanted to try and he showed me a few. (I was really happy he didn't say anything like: ''uuhmm the ones you like'' So I was happy that he had a mind of his own and not to follow me like a dog. We still had a lot of fun and he really gave me the feeling that he REALLY CARED about me. We still had a good time and the night was young so we continued with eating at a restaurant. Not to fancy, because we both weren't dressed for that and I like the more normal restaurants than the high end. He paid for the restaurant and after that we drank somewhere else and continued talking. Eventually it was getting late and I had to go home. He walked with me to the train. There was this magic moment, we looked at each other and he said: ''Happy birthday'' I was like wut? ''that is tomorrow'' He said: '' its 00:00'' And than he gave me this sweet happy birthday card with a very sweet and heartwarming text in it that he wrote himself! We kissed and god, he kissed so nice! I was stunned, amazed, everything was so beautiful and perfect <3 We continued to date a few more times, but we both knew that we were going to be lovers and from moment one that we wanted to be together forever. He was VERY patient because I came out of a horrible gaslighting relationship and didn't wanted to rush me to be his GF.

And no he didn't had a high salary, or was in his dream job. But he did love his ''normal'' job and he was extremely good at it which admired me him even more.

So a bit tl;dr: Guys, it is about the impression you make, the things you do for her and she for you. She risks to go out with a stranger, dresses all up, and travels to see you. I know that for you guys this seems as nothing, but don't forget how many women get murderd or raped, assaulted. Women really don't go out for fun to get free food, or company. Women put a lot of energy in dating, and most of them are tired because of every guy that comes up with: ''hey wanna have sex?'' Women really want a normal relationship and don't care a lot about sex, that is just a nice extra. Women are also tired of all the violence men give them for not wanting to have sex with them or not letting them assault them.

Want a good date? Show how much she really means for you! Give her a good feeling by being nice and caring. Don't talk or joke about sex! Yes pay for her food that will give you so much bonus points! Why would you not pay €40,- for food? She came all the way to meet you, putted a lot of effort in it while it is dangerous and she is not even €40,- worth to you?

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Guys, having a good date is totally not hard! And if you don't want to waste €40,- on 10 dates, THAN DON'T GO ON 10 DATES! You swipe every girl to the right in the hope to get a date. But if you first talked to women you REALLY like, you would have more energy, time and money for the right women. You can bet €10,- on every number, in the hope to win something, but you lost all your money on every other number. While if you bet €100,- on the right number, you would have won big!

or to say better: Don't waste all your money on large quantity of cheap bait in hope that some fish bites. Spend you money on good quality bait and know where the good fish are.