I wrote this as a comment on another thread where the OP's said her BF would imply she should lose weight, and I thought it might be helpful. It is a really big red flag to encounter someone so preoccupied by weight/size/looks.

I got myself over an eating disorder so I never fall for this BS from anyone. I used to be very thin, looking at those old photos makes me sad. I am recovered and healthy now and I accept my body type. I am not very skinny anymore, I have curves, and I am happy to not have an eating disorder. Some people still call me slim, some would say curvy, but I am at a healthy weight and I am healthy mentally which is what matters to me. So whenever someone makes a comment now being condescending or pushy about health/fitness/food, making "suggestions", I instantly drop them. I already fought my ED battle on my own, it was a battle hard-fought, the last thing I need is a LVM trying to get me to think in eating disordered ways again and to obsess over my figure. I think if a HVM or good man only knew what I've been through and how healthy I am in my current state he wouldn't dream of saying one word to me about diet. Those kinds of comments are not welcome, I thought everyone knew it was rude to make comments about diet. No one knows what you do or what you've been through, and it's no one's place besides yours to decide what you eat. Eating an extra brownie at dinner is always going to be better for me than starving myself for three days eating nothing but boiled potatoes. So anyone who is trying to give me shit or condescend me about health, or making a comment about what I eat, can fuck right off. No one knows better than me what to do for myself. I feel bad for men who are so preoccupied with food and fitness, the way they talk reminds me of when I was in the throes of my eating disorder, never happy with myself, sad, insecure, thinking about food. These guys who are so obsessed with weight are sad individuals. You should never let their own neuroses get to you.

I've reached a point where I can say I love my body and shout it from the rooftops. So hearing any negative/condescension/"diet advice" talk from a LVM instantly turns me off and spoils my whole vibe. I can't associate with anyone like that or anyone so looks-obsessed or condescending. I could actually out-do any negging LVM when it comes to exercise at any time. I used to workout 6 days a week. It's not how I live my life anymore because that's not healthy for me, but to have LVM try to mansplain to me health and fitness is an instant turn-off. None of their business what I do, what their mother does, what their kids do. They should keep to themselves- they can choose their own diet and leave everyone else alone. I run away from these pieces of shit because their preoccupation with weight is a reflection of an eating disorder I used to have. Non-disordered people don't think about food so obsessively. Lots of LVM these days seem to have eating disorders and want to push these eating disorders and insecurities onto women. I see a lot of orthorexic men try to shame women into eating their idea of "healthy" and trying to guilt them, or neg in the form of "advice". It should be a public health crisis-LVM left and right are trying to transfer their own food issues onto women in their life to feel superior. They are all overly preoccupied with it and need to get treatment.

I had an orthorexic LVM tell me before that I should not drink frappuccinos anymore and switch to green tea, implying I will get fat. He also implies the sugar will give me wrinkles, as if that is the worst possible thing that could ever happen to me. Wrinkles. What is a woman worth if she has wrinkles, right gals?? #LVMLogic. What he doesn't know is it's a victory for me to be able to have a frappuccino without thinking about calories and I celebrate being mentally free enough to do that. I am proud of myself, I cross off previously forbidden foods on a list I have and am thrilled whenever I overcome my previous self-imposed restrictions. What he doesn't know is that moderation is the key to a healthy diet. What he doesn't know is I might have only had 800 calories that day, and the frappuccino will not do a thing to my weight, I'd still be under the amount of energy needed to get through my day. He doesn't know if I am having a low blood sugar episode. He doesn't know if I had a workout prior and need to replenish with carbs. He doesn't know if it's between drinking a frappuccino and not having the appetite to eat anything at all I would pick the former every time, because I made a commitment to nourish myself. Where I'm at today is a huge victory to me and testament to my strength. What I've been through shows me how many people are struggling with disordered thinking and are out here untreated and pushing their issues on to others. I see in these LVM who I used to be before I recovered. And my weight and looks could never define my worth anyway. I am so much more than that.

I encourage all women to avoid LVM who make comments about weight/looks like that. Being involved with someone with that kind of neurosis and disordered view of the world is damaging. Don't let them push their disordered thinking on to you. Orthorexic LVM will shame you for having birthday cake on your bday or getting a cheeky frappuccino at the mall. That's no way to live. He can have his chicken breasts and broccoli. But not you. Until these guys get treatment for their orthorexia they can't be good partners. It's a mental illness, an offshoot of OCD and anxiety. I'm not exaggerating. Their issues with their own self-image and control issues run deep. If it's gotten to the point he is projecting on you, run. Even back when I had a ED, I never policed anyone's eating choices or weight. So just know he is sick if he is doing that to you. Life is really fucking short. It is a sad thing to look back and realize you didn't split the dessert with your girl friends on vacation because you were worried about gaining a pound. It is a sad thing to realize you spent so much energy thinking about your weight in your youth. It is a sad thing not to enjoy your favorite french toast. You're in this world to live your life, not to look like a perfect model or obsess over your weight.

The last thing any woman needs is to have someone in her life whispering in her ear telling her she's not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough. We do enough self-critique on or own, run far away anyone trying to bring you down. HVM will uplift you and speak positivity into your life. This can be hard to understand if you grew up with critical parents or a family that has normalized criticism. You will feel comfortable in the presence of LVM who are ok with critiquing you and belittling you. But the thing is, you get to choose how you live when you're an adult. My life shall be free of any trifling ass LVM who try to disrespect me. And you all can choose this too. Some advice: if you have never overcome an eating disorder before, please be mindful of associating with anybody who thinks it's normal to make comments about other people's diets/sizes/weights/exercise/health. Slowly but surely you can start to feel inadequate and develop disordered thinking yourself. It quietly creeps up on you, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get away from anybody making comments like that in the first place. They will transfer their own mental illness and diseased thinking on to you.

Think about it. Is this the kind of man you need in your life? Your worst critic? Mr. You're Not Good Enough For Me? Mr. Know-it-all about health? Or would you prefer somebody who doesn't project his insecurities, neuroses, and diseased thinking on to others? Trust me when I say, it is a disease. These guys have no clue about the real meaning of life. Everything is a superficial, vanity-filled, looks-obsessed game to them. No, he's not "helping you" or telling you "out of love". He is trying to control you, because eating disorders are a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. He is trying to mold you into a trophy. He has bought into societal brainwashing and is now trying to get you to buy into it and put your own health at risk in the quest to lose weight and be as skinny as Bella Hadid. It has nothing to do with health or fitness. He doesn't want the best for you. He wants the best for him, he is a shallow, vain individual and he gets off making you feel inadequate. You are perfect as you are. Why is he with you if he can pick so many flaws? You don't need that kind of energy or person in your life. Dump him, let him be toxic with someone else. Your level-up journey is for you, not him. He can either be supportive and loving or fuck off.

And ask yourself, why the fuck is he expending his energy on this? Couldn't he ask you about your job? See if there's anything you need help with? Ask you what you think about current affairs or your favorite book? Get to know you on a deeper level? Why is he commenting on looks and size and not fostering a deeper connection with you? Emotionally unavailable and shallow douchebags are prone to doing this. There are so many more interesting things to talk about than weight, diet, and exercise. Does he even know your favorite book?

I am not saying if both of you happen to enjoy Crossfit, or if both of you have a dairy-free diet in common don't talk about it. That's great!! Do that! I am saying if he's trying to push anything on you, or insinuate anything about your weight, size, or health, or be a know-it-all about things, run. Is he a personal trainer? Is he a physician? Or a nutritionist? Didn't think so.

You were doing fine before him and you will continue to be fine after him. He thinks he can swoop in and mansplain to you how to be healthy? lol. You're better than that, ladies. Stay confident in who you are and stay confident knowing you make the best decisions for you and you don't need anyone's input in that. Comments about weight/size/health/exercise/diet are negging attempts, and should be treating accordingly. #blockdelete. To go further, they are evidence of his own diseased mind and inability to know what's important in life or how to have a proper relationship based on something deeper than looks.