Scared to move on from my long term relationship

circescircus · 2020-05-04T11:34:56+00:00

"My entire routine is built around spending time with him and making sure he’s happy."

Not every man is the worst kind of abuser, some men are just slob parasites who bring you down and manipulate you into having your life revolve around them. Women with trauma are especially vulnerable, they think this type of guy is "safe". A lot of the times, these guys are so immature and ill prepared for life, for challenges in general, that they go from harmless and annoying to abusive and degrading as soon as they are faced with some challenge. They cannot handle reality, they cannot handle life, they cannot handle being a person.

Dont_Settle_for_Less · 2020-05-04T13:08:39+00:00

There's some mild red flags with him already.

There's also nothing wrong with realizing you outgrew him. You were constantly improving yourself while he stayed more stagnant. Your partner should be someone who is supportive and inspires you. You could come up with possible ideas on how you can be less tied together and then have a talk with him after the quarantine.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-05-04T14:45:22+00:00

This to me is the biggest reason why I don’t really encourage serious relationships in teens/early twenties. Men always seem to want an implied contract that the person they’re dating now will be always be the person they’re dating, which leaves a lot of women scared to change and grow into the woman they want to be. At this point, all there is to do is end it, the longer you stay, the more of your 20s you’re going to lose because you already lost the beginning. I know it’s scary, I’ve had to walk away from someone like this. Where it wasn’t full on Abusive and “I loved him and he was a great guy” but he wasn’t really that great of a guy, especially for me. He was making me want to stay small so I didn’t outgrow him. If that’s not what you want, leaving is the only option.

shine_flower · 2020-05-04T16:32:08+00:00

Its okay to choose yourself and your own growth. Do you think you could stick with him forever? It would only be delaying the inevitable if you let it pass. Change is uncomfortable but you'll be doing yourself a favor. And maybe even him, who knows. Maybe breaking up and being removed from your safety net would do both of you some good.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-05-04T15:32:52+00:00

Mmmmm I think so have been in a somewhat similar situation. I wasn't able to do the breakup while living there (too difficult). I had to move out first and then did it.

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