One thing I have been reminding myself of late, is to not be impressed by men doing the baseline minimum just because a lot of men are dumb, rude and thirsty. Because half the time, it doesn't take very much to set them apart from the scumbags.

I feel because the bar is set so so low for men, it is very easy for bog standard courting etiquette /behaviour to be held in some kind of artificial high regard that it shouldn't be. For example, him holding the door open for you or asking lots of questions on dates or not trying to grope you on date one. When you really think about it these things should not be impressive in the slightest, they should be the baseline minimum of a respectful man. Because when we get too excited by this standard behaviour or give them to much praise for it, it sets the bar very very low to impress us. Not only that, some men are only displaying this behaviour because they recognise its what you'd like to see & hear (& it doesn't take them much effort), however that will soon drop off when they feel like it, usually after the 3month honeymoon phase/after they slept with you.

So basically all I'm saying is try not get to caught up with butterflies at the bare minimum, let him earn your affection & only show the same effort he puts in....that way if he feels you tailing off he will either respond 1 or 2 ways: escalating his advances/making you a priority to stop you from straying because he's realised that's the only way he'll earn your exclusivity or he will turn cold because he doesn't like you enough to put in that effort or is too immature & avoiding settling down. If he isn't doing anything special for you, stop holding him in such a special regard- stop letting him take up so much importance, time and energy in your life that he has not truly earned...that should only be reserved for men that are really going all out to show they are committed to you in the long run.

Don't be afraid to leverage a guy in the early stages and set the tone before the sex &feelings blur your decision making - state your preferences out loud sister. You have something he & a load of other men want- don't forget to use that to your advantage. You don't have to give it him if he doesn't meet your standards. You're not happy with men taking you to the pub on low effort dates? Let him know, so he's aware he has to bring his A game with you. Tired of planning dates? Let him know he needs to take charge & do the planning (you can give him hints about things you like doing). You hate texting back&forth & find phonecalls more intimate? Let him know early on so he worries you'll fly off if he txts too much. You get turned off by lazy men with dad bods that let themselves go? Let him know so he knows he needs to be in that gym working out regularly to keep up with you. Males are like dogs you have to train them early on to respect you and understand your expectations of them- most of the shit storms occur when we aren't bold enough in the beginning to lay this all out & make too many allowances for them because they are nice to look at or we are tired of the single life.

A lack of clarification leads them to make all kinds of assumptions about what we would tolerate. You can either end up with a devoted little puppy dog on your tail or an unruly little bitch barking orders at you & sniffing up 100 other dogs asses thinking he is one of the big dogs lmao, its your choice! Don't be scared of offending or losing them (DICK IS ABUNDANT AND LOW VALUE) - if a man really wants you & is looking to pursue you properly your standards will not scare him off, if anything they will turn him on, command his respect and make him incredibly curious as to why you have such high esteem. If he is low effort, you give him low effort, screw that. Don't fall into that trap of falling over yourself to gain his interest back, that is 1-0 to him & you will set the dynamic in his favour: one in which he is the prize & you will disregard your standards just to get it. You are a high value woman: there are too many willing men flinging themselves at you to care about some low effort male. There will be another cute tall guy, another funny guy flirting with you, another one to replace him...there always is. The scarcity mindset is what keeps women trapped to low value men.

The things that should impress you, should be JUST that: impressive. Anything which indicates he is going out on a whim to really impress you, and show serious interest.