I honestly don’t know how I got here. I believe I was invited here from another sub but even if I wasn’t, me stumbling upon FDS was a beautiful, welcoming invitation in and of itself. My faith in God drives what I do and this sub has helped reignite that and to stand up for what is right.

  1. I stopped seeing strong women as a threat. Yes, I know this is horrible but my pickme ways had me brainwashed to believe that if a coworker, boss, professor, or customer was blunt with me that they were just insecure or out to get me (insert eye-roll). That if a man is blunt and unfeeling that is just who he is, haha, nope! FDS shifted my perspective to even simply allow women the grace and space to be themselves. Can I get an Amen?

  2. I liked to resort to my codependent ways and am now encouraged to ask for help to get the same chance as any man would. I would credit my HVM ex for taking me out on dates, telling me I’m beautiful, being patient, and having faith in me: when all along I was giving him credit for the things I could be for myself and for others. Yes, he was great, but he didn’t add too much extra and wasn’t growing in areas of his life to get the future I wanted for us. I don’t rely on a man or a friend to treat me the way I should be setting the standard for in myself.

  3. I no longer feel like a slave to society. I said it. I realize that wanting a marriage and kids is the equivalent of wanting to invest in a good business branch. Sure, everyone wants to, but that takes time and people don’t do it if they don’t like what the business practices or stands for, why would it be different for a man.

  4. I’m content. I’m thoroughly content knowing many of us have been placed at disadvantages, but that those won’t stop is from being true to ourselves. That our side hustles and hobbies won’t be respected by everyone, and that all the work we put into our health, appearance, relationships, education, work, and hobbies, will be overlooked, but valued by the right people who are our companions in this journey for our own definition of success.

  5. Expressing the results of trauma and all the ways us women have been exploited through the years helps me to see that healing and re-education on self-respect is a process and can be positive- not something that I just bury because it’s inconvenient for others for a second of their compassion compared to years of our own personal abuse.

  6. I have healthy boundaries now. It’s not my job to train or explain to every guy what he did wrong. It’s just easier to reward what they do right by continuing positive reinforcement. I’m no longer bitter because I take pride in my choices and don’t allow myself to get stepped on.

  7. I now have more grace for people. All the sh*t us women go through has helped me to take a step back. Men give us a roadmap of what to do in life to be successful, but it doesn’t include grace. What I mean is that, your coworker may not get back to you because she is taking care of her kids, the waiter serving your table might be going through a divorce and isn’t up to speed today, your paperwork may not get processed fast enough because the woman in charge has had to go to a funeral and no one took her shift. On the flipside, a man who ‘hustles’ doesn’t have time to be gracious to these women and misinterprets getting what he wants as fast as he wants as success when it’s just him being a dick. His relationships are manipulated and based on fear. Whereas women give respect to get it.

  8. I stopped making excuses for why I have disappointed myself for why I’m not where everyone else is in life. I do everything in my power to make sure I have the tools to succeed. If I forget one small thing, I don’t beat myself up for it. When things come up, I adapt. I am beautiful, I am talented, and I am worthy of love and respect despite these flaws. Who is to say I shouldn’t treat myself to a nice dinner after someone insulted me, not me. I don’t let people dictate how I should be treated. Period.