Why can’t I stop

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-05-08T05:27:14+00:00

When you get to the mentally anguishing parts, it’s easier to throw the whole man away.

No contact is peaceful. After the first week, you’ll get over him easier. I still think about mine every day but at least I no longer cry. I’m not under mental stress. I’m not crying myself to sleep.

Ghost his ass immediately.

_tinyimp · 2020-05-08T05:08:51+00:00

Everything in life is easier said than done. Try to forgive yourself for the two years you feel like you wasted and start putting a plan in action to not waste another day! If there’s no end in sight with this man, then don’t give him anything else. At least it was only two years, and you’re not stuck in a marriage like he is. This sounds like it’s agitating for you daily but I guarantee you it will feel freeing. Breakups are a strange mixture of grief and new beginnings, so whenever I end something I try to only focus on the new beginnings because they should be thrilling, not scary. Also, reading is the best rebound after a breakup. I feel like they put in perspective how trivial my past relationships are in the grand scheme of things! It’s nice to not be yourself for a couple hours sometimes.

I recommend The Letter by Ruth Saberton. Historical fiction. Very slow to start but picks up drastically about 30% in. A cathartic WW1 romance (I cried for like 3 hours straight) I also recommend Jane Doe by Victoria Helen Stone. Mystery. Protagonist is a sociopath planning to get revenge on the man who she blames for her best friend’s death. Also strong FDS energy. Both were free on amazon prime reading on kindle/kindle app last time I checked. I recommend these because these are books I would re-read after a breakup for sure.

throw248348 · 2020-05-08T13:02:10+00:00

I'm so sorry you're hurting, girl! There are so many other people who care about you, and he can't see your worth (or his wife's or any woman's worth it would seem) so he's obviously trash.

If you're having trouble with still caring about him, make a list of all the shitty things he does. Read this any time you start to imagine the good months and over time you will find yourself disgusted by his behavior. Don't feel bad that you feel like he doesn't care about you - it sounds like he is incapable of caring about anyone and that has no reflection on you.

Honestly, I wouldn't even want this man to care about me bc it sounds like he'd just end up cheating on me.

Make a list of all the things you like about him - I did this and realized that many of them were really vague general things that I could probably find in any guy. Cute nicknames, pretty eyes, same interests - whatever it is that you think ONLY he has you can be sure that there is someone else with those same things who will treat you better.

Whatever mask he put on in the beginning that you fell in love with, you can probably find in an emotionally available man who isn't married.

I am usually distraught and depressed for months after a break up, but I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and although I was crying and sleepless for the first few days, I am honestly feeling 70% back to normal just from reading this sub, talking to friends, and working on myself.

I'm not anxious waiting for a text back, carrying the conversation, wondering why he doesn't want to call and talk, or dealing with his weird condescending microaggressions. I feel great honestly.

What really helped my breakup was talking to friends afterwards.

Schedule a time to delete him, and create a plan of action for yourself that involves talking to friends immediately after - schedule video calls back to back if you have to so you're not alone.

Also, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is a GREAT read and I think it would really help in this case.

You are so worthy of a man who wants you and cares about you and wants your attention, this guy just isn't capable of it.

Homewreckerb · 2020-05-08T07:32:36+00:00

I know you are right. I think if I can get to one week with no contact I’ll realise I really don’t need him. The block button is my friend!

Thank you x

TotalOrganization3 · 2020-05-09T22:34:07+00:00

Girl. Been there. Get a new phone, new number, go to the dr and get xanax and then level the fuck up. You are above this shit.

ohmylanta88 · 2020-05-08T19:10:52+00:00

Getting involved with a married man and expecting him to leave her for you or what ? You screwed yourself from minute one.

Title	Why can’t I stop
Author	Homewreckerb
Upvotes	25
Comments	10
Date	May 7, 2020 8:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gfejn0/why_cant_i_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-cant-i-stop.676745 https://theredarchive.com/post/676745

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