https://www.psychreg.org/incels-deserve-better-advice/

This has been my go to for this topic and it dispels a lot of the myths about inceldom

The lefts current approach to inceldom is to treat construct it as some sort of gross caricature of what they want it to be rather than the material reality of the situation. Inceldom is the consequence of a larger societal transformation imo, and you can see it in the data.

The current caricature pushed by lefty circles and MSM is that they are “white angry and violent lone wolves”. But this isn’t reflected in the data.

Interesting insights: 55% of incels are Caucasian 45% are nonwhite (with over representation in Asian minority groups) Remember than America is 73% Caucasian as of now Minorities are over represented amongst incels

Violence? 30% of men in America self report celibacy However there have been only a handful of attacks. We at the very least must reckon that the overwhelming majority of incels are not violent people

One thing that is brought up against incels is that they are socially inept, but a poll held in an incel forum found that 26% of incels reported they had some form of autism. Could neurodivergancy be a part of inceldom and if so would dismissing all of it be construed as ableism, especially given such a large cohort?

A particularly powerful quote: “We still view men who don’t have sex as failures in some way…For men, calling someone an incel implies something positive – a certain sexual abundance – about one’s own existence. For women it has begun to function as a putdown that ruthlessly dismisses unworthy suitors while simultaneously expelling them from the community of the good as misogynistic and creepy.”

Society puts incels in a Catch-22 situation. A damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation.

And of course there’s the economics of it all. Women want to earn more then men, and are slowly doing so as men drop university attendance, but at the same time, while they want good jobs, they still don’t want to be the ultimate breadwinner. Women who have no job still have the option of a house wife. Stay at home dads are another beast entirely because A. There’s not enough of them and B. 1/3rd of stay at home dads mairrsges ends in divorce. What ultimately happens is a concentration of power. An entire cohort of men and women are kicked out of the labor market, but women still have the ability to move up via marriage . Guys, not so much.

I don’t think the current left as we know it wants to reckon with any of this and it makes me angry. This is a problem and it is genuinely affecting mens mental health. People always talk in left wing men’s spaces why guys flock to TRP or Men’s Rights BS but part of it is because they aren’t outright dismissing these concerns.

It’s the dismissiveness of it all that gets me. You’ve probably heard the rest of the incel rhetoric like Pareto principle 20/80 so I’ll spare you that.

Idk what will need to change. It’s hard to tell people “fuck white men” when simultaneously tall white men do the absolute best on dating apps. It’s hard to get behind “we loooove minorities” while also not acknowledging short East Asian and Indian dudes do the absolute worst on these same apps. Maybe I’m just speaking from lived experience but that’s just me.

I see inceldom rn as a transitioning stage. Idk what the final goal should be.

I have a hope to see more women choosing to be the breadwinners and maybe more stay at home dads being normalized and secure? Maybe less racism and ethnic preference?

Idk what the solution is, but I think we need a more nuanced approach at the very least.

Edit: I was actually pretty surprised and pleased by the responses lol. I posted a series of rants and tried to get them up on various different subreddits but none of them gave me a platform, except this one. Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.

As an aside, idk I might be an incel or incelish, but I certainly don’t hate women or anything if that’s what your thinking. I see the issue is an economic / societal one. I think it’s more reflective of being on the cusp or currently undergoing a societal transformation. I think it’s important we look at this from a class based perspective.