Am I doing something wrong?

strongandhappy · 2019-07-21T02:18:14+00:00

Incomprehensible? This post is the body and soul of mgtow, or at least, why it's essential. You're a good man, you make every effort you possibly can, you recognize your worth and why you do what you do. I empathize, brother. All you can do now is stand up for yourself, express yourself, and respect yourself. You will never be a deadbeat dad, it's not who you are, however things turn out in the long run. But do establish boundaries and find the support you need for your mental health whereever you can, even here if it works for you. You're a strong important person, you deserve to be recognized for that.

dirtydog113 · 2019-07-21T02:18:42+00:00

Mate , I completely understand. I was the same , except I was working away from home doing 12 hour shifts , living in con camps and mining camps .You come home and nothing you did was ever enough , even tho she hardly worked and would always find an excuse why she couldn't , yet loved spending my hard earned dollars .

You are at a crossroads in your life atm . The blue pill is wearing off and you are starting to see the world for what it is , and your role as a workhorse.

You have some hard decisions to make , some bitter pills to swallow. You can either keep going the way you are going and possibly see it all crumble around you because you were " never there for her" , or make the choices that suit you and your life , which you only have one to live. It is hard with kids , I know. I have 2 sons , it is easier now they are older , but still hard none the less.

You could start stashing funds away for yourself for your future self , or start pulling back from work hours to do what you want to do , which includes spending time with your daughter and / or wife. Whatever choice you make , remember , it will probably not suit her, Disregard her opinion when it comes to it , its your life to live

ttomottomo · 2019-07-21T03:58:19+00:00

Wait til she cheats on you with a 'friend' from her new job!

Dmapguy · 2019-07-21T02:39:26+00:00

No, sir. We are here to help. You've done nothing wrong as you are simply stuck. Stuck between wanting to be free from your unappreciative spouse and loving your young daughter. I'm thankful that I will never know such pain. All I can say is to keep being a good dad.

MGTOWrath · 2019-07-21T07:08:21+00:00

You didn't have a deadbeat dad. You had a deadbeat mom who got rid of your dad so that she could cash out by selling your childhood down the toilet, and now you have a deadbeat wife to continue the cycle of abuse you are trapped in.

ncarolina66 · 2019-07-21T07:12:27+00:00

Dude,

First thing, unless she looks just like you. Have a DNA test done on your daughter to make sure she's really yours. (not being mean here, but you need to know the truth).

Second, start saving cash and stash somewhere outside the house (family members house, etc.)

Third, get ready for your wife cheating on you. That PT job is most likely BS and she's getting some side action, especially if you aren't having sex with her the few hours you actually see her.

Fourth, contact a good lawyer WITHOUT telling anyone. You might be able to keep your child (see #1 above first) or pay little alimony if you can prove your wife cheated on you. (depends on the state or country you live in but that's why you go talk to a lawyer. (as you might have to hire a Private Detective to get pic's of her infidelity, use a key coder, etc.)

Fifth, after all the above and the child is yours, she's NOT cheating then you need to confront her and tell her what you want to change. She might leave but so what it's better then dying of a heart attack or stroke because you are working 7 F#$% days a week. If she is cheating or the child is not yours then you can slam her with the lawyer and evidence (#4 above) and hopefully just have to pay child support which it seems you would be willing to do....see if you can get 50/50 and her NOT to be able to leave the state...(but ask your lawyer that question).

Good luck

gtowerthrowaway · 2019-07-21T03:43:02+00:00

Great news: it's downhill from here.

Take it from a guy who's married, older, and with kids. Get snipped, raise your daughter until she's 18, and get out of Dodge. Given the way you've described your wife, though, it's unlikely to last that long. So do your best to squirrel away money and assets against the likely poor outcome you're gonna have, play as nice as possible, and prepare for the worst.

CoinSwapTrader · 2019-07-21T03:04:56+00:00

It is important that you first start thinking about your own health and well being first, because by putting your wife and child first to the point of denying and neglecting your own self will only destroy you in the end and in the end your daughter and wife won't have a father anymore if he dies of stress or heart failure....Dont be ashamed to come home and sleep if you are tired!

BaffyBob · 2019-07-21T12:13:25+00:00

Let's take this one item at a time. You're already working the equivalent of a full-time job and a part-time job to provide for your family and wife isn't happy. She doesn't need to work but she finds a job where she's working when you aren't. She's drinking and smoking pot at work and then driving home to you.

Based on my experience and my observations, your marriage is over, the only thing left is waiting for her to file. I suggest you listen to the advice here others provided. DO NOT acquire more debt. You'll just end up having to pay it off after the divorce. Find someone you can trust, someone your wife either doesn't know or doesn't suspect you might trust. This must be a guy because a woman will rat you out. Begin giving this guy as much cash as you can for him to hold for you. You're going to need it soon. Get your car in top condition now so you don't have to worry about it during and after the divorce when you won't have the money to fix it. Sell what you can without your wife's knowledge and park the money with your friend - your banker.

Find an experienced family lawyer, a man. Don't not use a woman attorney. Get his opinion on the state of your marriage, based on what he's seen in his experience. Follow his advice. Use the money your banker is holding for you to pay this. You don't want your wife to suspect you know what's coming. Do not open another checking account or get another credit card at this time. Begin checking around very quietly about other places you might be able to live temporarily. DON'T talk to apartment mangers or rental agents. They keep records.

After the divorce, expect your ex-wife to brainwash your daughter to hate you. When you see your daughter make sure you never say anything that could be considered negative about her mother or mother's new boyfriends. Her mother will say plenty negative about you. Expect not to find out about school or other activities in which your daughter is involved, unless your daughter tells you. Also expect if you start showing up at things to get shit on by all the other women there because your ex has already talked to them.

This should get you through the next 4-6 months. Good luck and keep us informed. I don't know if you're religious but if you are, expect the people at your church to turn against you, too. She may even get some of your relatives to turn on.

fugitived · 2019-07-21T08:57:53+00:00

I had to make the same decision 1 year ago.

All I have to say is that now I'm free, I see my child and I enjoy being with him a lot!

Best of luck brother!

beer-bitches-buttsex · 2019-07-21T02:14:14+00:00

You need to communicate. You really do. Make yourself heard

GoMake_me_a_sandwich · 2019-07-21T04:55:11+00:00

Start spending your savings on things you want. Like a new car and vacation. The car will be taken if a divorce happens but at least you can enjoy it till then.

PrinceRaj53 · 2019-07-21T09:02:42+00:00

Well, that's a life I would run away from, always.

It seems to me that "your wife" already lost interest in you. She had left you emotionally a long time ago. Right now, your relationship with her is just being dragged, nothing else, because she is unable to find someone better than you as of now.

But dont worry, she has started looking for a better option already. All the reasons she is giving you about "not putting any effort" are made from nonsense. Why? Because it needs to be your fault. Why would she take responsibility? Nope. Thats a no go for a woman, like it or not.

Now, do you want to "salvage" your marriage? Very, very bad idea, but its your call.

Do you want to be free? Hard decision to make, but will benefit you in the long run.

Whats your call?

kaczan3 · 2019-07-21T15:10:35+00:00

' I had a deadbeat dad and I don't want to be like that "

If that's what you're worried about, don't. Your doughter will grow to be just like your wife and she will also use and abuse some poor guy, just like your wife is abusing you.

the-lone-squid · 2019-07-21T15:25:05+00:00

She's bored of the marriage. Restaurants are major pickup places. Be sure to look for signs of cheating at this point

Title	Am I doing something wrong?
Author	blargh879
Upvotes	35
Comments	33
Date	July 21, 2019 2:11 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/cftyqn/am_i_doing_something_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/am-i-doing-something-wrong.423993 https://theredarchive.com/post/423993

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