Aside from therapy, what keeps you pushing forward and enables you to deal with the past?

DangZagnut · 2020-06-12T08:57:14+00:00

Yet, some days the past knocks on my door and I just want to hide under a pile of coats.

So deal with it. I'm scared of swimming where I can't see below me. There are monsters down there. So I was sailing from key west up to north Florida, when I bought my last sailboat, and, as always, was terrified of things lurking below me, so naturally, I dove overboard.

Face your demons, because they rarely exist.

Face your fears.

Why am I rambling about this other than to be cool and put cool markers on this comment?

It doesn't matter, and you need to not give fuck. Develop an IDGAF attitude. Because the world opens up to you once you stop caring about cultural bullshit.

Stop living in the past. The past doesn't matter. It's only the now, and your future, you have any control over.

Guik0 · 2020-06-12T09:19:47+00:00

I were in your shoes, I am 29 and my vision of life shifted a bit.

For giving you a context, I lost my mother last year, and I don't have a father since I am 18yo, now I am 29 and society expect me to do something of my life.

I don't give really a shit about this world or peoples, I focus on stuff that make me happy : winning a bit of money, building up a decentralised business (already more or less a success), learning actively to draw mangas (very hard), having a beach body with fastening, learning to cook from seasons' products, learn to set up a forge,...

I am a technicien in maintenance, but now I focus on easy job to do, because I will never "live in my work". And in work, I am not friendly, I am a polite professionnal. But in life? I am a crazymotherfucker who enjoy life, and being mgtow helps a ton.

Good friends, yes it's hard. I keep a very good friend but he is a blue-pill, I just don't talk about women in general and the relationship keep going great.

I strongly advice you to write a journal, or if you are creative a fiction with all your pain in it. I have done 13 poems, very personnal, where all my sadness or pain becomes divine justice from words. Find your medium for yourself and nobody else.

Being demotivated or sad in life is normal. Society telling us(indirectly) that we need to be happy 100% of the time is not.

Software engineering is the dream job for a sure futur.You are more lucky than 80% of the population. Keep learning informatic languages and new concepts and you will be the golden goose that everyone want to have, in the more and more digitalized world.

Learn from jobs too, because experiences in reality will be always better than studies. But studies, or auto-didacte studies are always better than passivity.

IF you really need it, go to therapy, but with a male professionnal. Thoses people are here to help you, it will be not a waste of money (don't even consider a female, run away, they are dangerous for your mental health, like any women)

Your goal is to be rich and happy you said, and I assume you associate the 2 terms toghether.

Being rich will give you happiness? You didn't research what is happiness for you.

Happiness is a process, not a result. For a man, it's close of being "proud" after a long, tiring, but worthwhile project, creating values for others.More the projet is risky, more you will be invested, more you will be happy if success (or failure too!)

Money is a good objective but don't fall into the trap of giving you happiness, you need to define what makes you happy and do it. Like me learning to cook is such a nice experience, and there is so much to do! Hapiness is like when you were a kid, discovering stuffs without expectations of results.Just because it was fun to do or learn.

Happiness for you could be winning a huge stack of money and impressed society, who cares. Or you can become a world class reference in your job. Or simple dude, who is more oriented on his life, like me. Do what you want, because guess what, people does not give a shit about you ! That's superbe, you can do whatever the fu** you want!!

Who cares?!

Hope it helps.

razer55600 · 2020-06-12T08:51:17+00:00

Push to master degree if you can

razer55600 · 2020-06-12T08:58:40+00:00

Do a fucking cert in a tool like sakesforce then

Aposematicly · 2020-06-12T09:04:58+00:00

ACT is not too bad at addressing this- set your compass and move (or have a shore leave if the weather is bad).

themenacehimself · 2020-06-12T10:08:32+00:00

Take all the good advice on here and always keep your back to the wall. When your back is to the wall the only thing you can do is look and move forward. You don’t have time to look back, there’s nothing there anyway except a wall.

Read my profile picture and Let that shit go

show-me-the-numbers · 2020-06-12T12:20:54+00:00

You should try giving up. I gave up once. After a few weeks I got bored and started hitting it again. Then giving up became a part of my past, and it helped me see that maintaining strength means balancing a cycle of suffering and recovery.

2020-06-12T14:32:13+00:00

>how do you deal with the past

All the people I went to school with ended up being losers LMAO

fruitchaat · 2020-06-12T15:15:37+00:00

I would suggest meditation.

The past sucker punching you has nothing to do with the past, it's a symptom of you letting yourself be pushed around by your thoughts.

You are not your thoughts. Meditation is not restriction nor control of your thoughts, it is simply awareness. When you gain awareness of your thoughts, you're able to separate yourself from them. At that point you start to see your thoughts as like a changing weather pattern.

Also as someone who just finished a CS degree, I can tell you that this is an area you really need to be solid on.

Imperial_Plastics · 2020-06-12T12:08:27+00:00

The answer literally is the past... when 3:00 a.m. rolls by and I am watching my mental health issues dance on the ceiling debating which is going to get to go first when the run a train on my soul, I think about my grandfather... then I think about his grandfather... then I picture them wishing they (for the sake of argument) had more friends in the middle of the night.

The trick about the past is that it is really hard to conquer without future prospects and something to move towards.

slamdunktiger86 · 2020-06-12T15:16:26+00:00

Jung said the alternative could be a great moral undertaking.

Dr. JBP self-authoring suite is also a great way to do it.

Nathaniel Brandon has excellent sentence completion exercises too.

Journaling is huge. Write down your own story.

It’s all to return of Socrates’ first dictum, know thyself.

If you understand you, you understand the cosmos.

nepomuk167 · 2020-06-12T15:22:31+00:00

Nihilism

awakenedspirit1 · 2020-06-12T16:12:53+00:00

Gym is way better than therapy. Heavy as you can

mechdemon · 2020-06-12T17:13:33+00:00

First off, a good therapist in invaluable. I have been very lucky in that regard.

Second, the only thing pushing me forward is the fact that if I dont do it, no one else will. No one gives a damn if I live or die - I made my peace with that decades ago. I make sure i'm taken care of and I have all the things I need or want - that which I could not do for myself I learned to live without.

Its not so much living as it is surviving, but its a cruel and uncaring universe. Best get used to reality instead of having your illusions shattered at an inopportune time.

30RITUALS · 2020-06-12T21:27:59+00:00

Therapy, ayahuasca, psilocybine, family systems, writing and telling myself I am enough and a future superstar

BlackSandstone · 2020-06-12T11:29:35+00:00

Pause on the Bachelors - consider the AWS certification track instead; you'll get results quicker and cheaper and then can consider doing a bachelors. It's possible - chap I used to work with did exactly that whilst raising a part time child, and consequently went on to double his salary.

Similar boat with the sucker punches problem, all i've found that worked is collecting tangible proof of stability around me, and even then ;\

Title	Aside from therapy, what keeps you pushing forward and enables you to deal with the past?
Author	Wakka_Grand_Wizard
Upvotes	31
Comments	28
Date	June 12, 2020 8:49 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/h7h3eq/aside_from_therapy_what_keeps_you_pushing_forward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/aside-from-therapy-what-keeps-you-pushing-forward.697706 https://theredarchive.com/post/697706

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