I feel highly conflicted. When walking around outside and seeing women, I want them to adore me. I want them to welcome me. But all I get is apathy. As if I was a ghost, women pass me by in the streets. Thinking about talking to them brings back many memories of women making me understand that they don't value me. And it were always the ones that I fancied. Once I became more aggressive and did not try to seduce them but say something to make them feel bad(I was using the pickup-"neg" without resolving it to make it stick) I felt slightly better, just for the next woman to not care about me. Never was I good enough for the ones I fancied. But I am still a man, the same other men are. I am attracted to many women, yet I cannot get the same respectful treatment other men get for reasons I don't know. I just came home from walking, looked into the mirror and saw ... a great looking man with good fashion sense. In spite of inner anger, I look calm on the outside. Still, no eye contact, nothing. Going my own way means doing what I can control. Yet I want to be loved and needed. Why can't I get the same treatment a few selected(I know, many women are worse to other men) other men get.