Does anyone ever worry about being childless and growing old alone?

Emanresu_rouy_esoohc · 2017-11-14T13:36:30+00:00

He said, what about when you get old and nobody comes around to see that your ok

He should go and visit a retirement home, filled with old people that were left in the dust by their own children.

Who's going to visit your grave?

I wonder how many times in a week he will visit the grave of his parents / grand-parents etc.

My brother who has 3 children and is married often questions me about when am I going to settle down and have kids.

Why aim to be a father, when you can be a awesome uncle. You can treat them like your own children and at the end of the day you give them back and maintain your freedom.

DangZagnut · 2017-11-14T13:43:56+00:00

No. And everyone grows old, and dies, alone.

Maybe your friend really gets off on having kids, but the kids are still young and haven't screwed anything up. It's like having a new puppy. They're fun and haven't started biting the mail man. But when they age a little (children not dogs) and start destroying everything stealing cars, telling you they hate you, and fucking up in general despite every sacrifice you make, they aren't worth it. I mean what are you actually getting from kids? Much like what are you actually getting from a wife?

Nothing.

The vast majority of children, much less humans on earth, aren't worth being around, it's just a lot harder to get rid of children you can't stand.

panzerbier · 2017-11-14T13:31:15+00:00

I’m pretty sure I’ll be too dead to care if anyone visits my grave. And I do better alone, anyway. So... /shrug

mrp_1844 · 2017-11-14T13:43:48+00:00

Does anyone ever worry about being childless and growing old alone?

Don't assume because you have kids you won't be alone.

In America the kids are to busy to take care of their parents.

ChrisBrownApologist · 2017-11-14T14:10:54+00:00

I hope I die alone. Less nagging.

Long_Range_Shooter · 2017-11-14T15:11:40+00:00

When my mom was in Hospice we had her in a nice retirement care facility and you should have heard the stories I heard from the employees. My brother and I were there every day we could to be with her to the end. The employees kept saying to us they had never seen such devotion to a parent since working there.

They said with most of the older persons there, it was the same story the kids told the staff call us when they die. My brother and I were floored but I guess it happens a lot more than people realize.

Ludakrit · 2017-11-14T13:57:58+00:00

Many parents do not have good relationships with their children, nor do their kids give a fuck about them enough to properly take care of them in their old age in America.

jkarovskaya · 2017-11-14T14:16:49+00:00

[deleted]

Unexpecter · 2017-11-14T14:29:40+00:00

I'm with you on this one. I'm 32 and I feel like I'm really missing purpose in my life. Yeah freedom is fun and all, but...

Starryeyes87 · 2017-11-14T15:22:20+00:00

Do you know as per Indian Vedic mythology you are supposed to die alone?

Death is the time when you need to be away from external attachments and vibes. That is the one time when you are truly leaving behind everything - all your experiences, possessions, insecurities and fears. At that time If you still need your children and family implies you havent learnt anything and you are still stuck in this earthly paradigm. Then this energy gets carried forward to another birth.

So people say you should be alone while dying. As far as growing old alone is concerned, being childless all your life teaches you to be independent. All this is just a fear. It passes if you allow it to.

jkarovskaya · 2017-11-14T16:09:26+00:00

SETTLING DOWN IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING FRAUD!

What the hell, is a guy supposed to give up his freedom, money, time, and devote all that to a woman who can literally dump him ANY SECOND she chooses to?

OP, having kids IS NO GUARANTEE AT ALL you will have company when you are old.

I have two sons, and they have their own life to live, and they really don't want to deal with some old guy, even their father if it's not a true emergency

Kids are INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE!

The list of things you have to buy is ENDLESS, and college is a killer these days, never mind in 20 more years. Estimates range from $250-$350,000 US to raise ONE CHILD.

Having kids is another story if you have a net worth well into the millions, but outside of that, you will be a big time wage slave, have zero guarantees they will be around when you're old, and you risk having a developmentally delayed kid who never grows up.

VanDriver1 · 2017-11-14T13:57:05+00:00

First: Don't do that to yourself. "I'm 37 YO." Have kids when you are ready to have kids, not because your biological clock it ticking. What age you are is (almost) completely irrelevant.

Second: You can grow old alone weather or not you have kids. I have 2 Kids and they never come see me and have nothing to do with me.

All those people who have kids and subtly pressure you with questions, "Misery loves company" They are seriously miserable and they want you to be miserable also.

Everyone takes their own path and makes their own choices. I know LOTS of people who never had children and live a full and happy life. I know LOTS of people who had children and struggle....Ect,Ect.

In the end we all die alone. There is some line that goes: "It matters not weather the wild winds chant his requiem, or weather it be sung by the minstrelsy of many voices. Growing old and dying alone is our destiny.

pimpstag · 2017-11-14T14:43:02+00:00

I actually want to have a kid but I want to go the surrogacy route and I'll only do it if I manage to save enough money for that - in 10-15 years or so. If not, I'm fine being childless. The reason I want to use a surrogate is because I already know a lot of stories of men who were held back by their wives - man finds a job that's better paying in another country, wife doesn't want to leave her job, they stay and struggle. Also I would like to have single say in my kid's education and not risk having him/her taken away from me and have to pay alimony to the whore mother. That's about it.

ClearUnderstanding · 2017-11-14T16:23:44+00:00

Everyone dies alone, and really we all live alone. Learn how to be happy alone with your thoughts, and make sure when you're on your death bed you have a life to look back on that you're proud of, because nobody else's judgement matters in the end.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2017-11-14T13:23:30+00:00

No. never wanted kids, never will have

Flintblood · 2017-11-14T13:56:55+00:00

I think that’s a legitimate want, but there is so much risk

silive · 2017-11-14T14:04:41+00:00

I won't surrender my freedom to a woman and the state because it's not negotiable...

gods_bones · 2017-11-14T14:56:24+00:00

Your children are going to abandon you to die alone anyway. No way in hell am I wasting my precious life taking care of and supporting my parents. You know why? Because I might as well have no parents. People say "You're being disrespectful if you don't take care of your parents after they took care of you." Yeah, sure... If divorce didn't exist. I barely got to know my father before my mother got rid of him and after a while she started blocking visitations too. And no fucking way am I remaining stuck in a house with my goddamn mother, especially as she begins to lose her mental faculties, it was excruciating enough the first time. You know who destroyed the tradition of taking care of your parents? Women. This would not be an issue if the majority of the world wasn't growing up in broken families. So nobody has a fucking right to complain about not being taken care of by their kids anymore. We don't know our fathers, and we are under zero obligation to take care of the woman who ruined our family and destroyed our childhoods.

ddmirror · 2017-11-14T15:43:45+00:00

If a persons selfish reasons for having kids is so that they aren't lonely when they get old, they are going to be sorely disappointed. My life became a lot more fulfilling when I stopped wasting time and money trying to fulfill other peoples misguided expectations and rules in life.

GlitchyBlasphemer · 2017-11-14T16:31:10+00:00

What do you mean “worry” about it? That’s the shit that puts a smile on my face at the start of the day.

Malefics · 2017-11-14T17:37:30+00:00

Do not go hard on yourself. It is normal to feel this way once in a while. We are biologically wired to want to procreate, after all. Overriding biological instincts is no simple task.

Your family and friends ask you/want you to have children because they have been conditioned to believe that is the norm. I bet they have never really sat down and gave some thought into "maybe having children is not bad."

Enjoy your freedom til death, once you die you will cease to exist and it won't matter if people visit your grave or not. Life is just a brief moment in the internal universe, just make yourself happy no matter what.

eja_cool8 · 2017-11-14T18:38:17+00:00

I think I'll be fine due to all the money I'll be able to save. If I get some sort of debilitating sickness I think I would eat a bullet.

Or go to Switzerland for Euthanasia.

ClearUnderstanding · 2017-11-14T19:23:31+00:00

[deleted]

JulianaSun · 2017-11-15T03:15:16+00:00

I am 54. I married once for 5 years in 1988. Divorced 1991. Had to work 12 hours a day 5 days a week. The other days were spent at the laundromat and grocery shopping. In 1997 I had to have a partial hysterectomy. Could never have kids. I was 35. I have dated some, but got hurt real bad and gave up. I didn't plan on it being forever. Due to life's circumstances, I am no longer a catch. I am trying to get back to being a catch and I am trying to move back to MI, but I need help physically. All the men in the small town in TN are married or unavailable. A lot of men don't want women over 40. Even if they're 75.My father passed away in 2008, my mother is 80 and lives an hour away. My brother just came off of life support and is very sick. My other brother is in FL. He just lost his wife suddenly. My other brother is in DC and not able to leave. I ask myself everyday "Who is going to push my wheelchair?" I am so lonely. When I was little, all I wanted to do was fall in love, get married, have kids and be a housewife and mother. My Dad pushed college but I wasn't interested. I just wanted to be a wife and mother. I was a child of the 60's and 70's and that's what women did till the womens lib movement. I never was a womens libber. I wanted the married with children title. My relatives would tell me "One day you'll meet your soulmate, Mr. Right, your prince..." and on and on. Well, I did.I loved my ex and took our vows seriously. I divorced him because he beat me. I know I did the right thing, but I sure miss being married. Now...I see my future as this. Watching more and more friends and loved ones die, and when I cant care for myself, my brothers will toss me in a state funded nursing home where I will be drugged up and nobody will visit. I may get raped there, (my beloved grandmother was raped at the nursing home). I will die with nobody there. Listen to me. Life can be great as a single person. Just make sure you plan for your elder years. I didn't. I thought I would meet my Mr Right. I never did. And I am very sad and lonely. Best wishes in all you do. 💝

mkmkthree · 2017-11-14T13:32:45+00:00

only woman can have children... I lost the biological lottery even if I wanted kids lol ...in an alternate reality I would love to have my own child

CanadaCurt · 2017-11-14T15:35:23+00:00

I’m also 37.I’ve never had a burning desire to have kids - unlike my brother - but I can really see the value in it. Having kids allows you to experience the wonder of the world all over again, through their innocent eyes. They find even the most mundane activities thoroughly enjoyable. They genuinely like you and want to be liked by you. Look, it’s no coincidence that many, many married men say the burden of being married is worth it to have kids. MGTOW is quick to discount this because many are bitter dudes.

On the flip side, kids are expensive, they require constant care, and they usually tether you to a woman who is largely self-interested and ungrateful. Considering all this, you have to make a decision that is right for you.

CIAC50 · 2017-11-14T16:52:20+00:00

I didn't get married until I was 38 . Big mistake . Divorced five years later . Remarried at 44 one child and reasonably good relationship for 19 years until no contest divorce. I've just had lunch with my son and he paid. I don't know or want to know about my ex wives but no ill feelings. My son goes his own way but he asks my opinion regularly which means a lot to me. I think I've been fortunate even though I now live alone. I am old but in good shape enjoying the next years as much as I can.

wawakaka · 2017-11-14T17:06:00+00:00

I look forward to it

DWShimoda · 2017-11-14T17:12:59+00:00

Virtually ALL people with YOUNG children LOVE to express these lines of thought.

Once their kids get to be teenagers and/or twentysomething types... well I guarantee you they switch "modes" -- instead what you will tend to hear THEN is how "ungrateful" and "thoughtless" and/or "troubled" and "problematic" (one or more of) their kids are -- and not uncommonly (at least if you catch them being "honest" in some private moment) what a royal "pain in the ass" (not to mention "drain on the wallet/paycheck, sometimes in MAJOR* ways) their children are or can be; and how in some ways they (almost) "wish" they had never married/had children.

Such thoughts often don't persist or show on the surface -- instead they will tend to try to remain "upbeat" and "positive" about it all (how they cannot imagine life without their kids, etc) -- but at times (and sometimes for prolonged periods of time) that "doubt/angst" will resurface, because it's nearly ALWAYS present to some degree or another.

The point is there are TRADEOFFS, there are "costs" or "prices to pay" for virtually EVERY major decision in life -- EVERY "path" has its benefits and thrills and glories; AND it's pains and problems and regrets -- and there are NO (ZERO) guarantees regarding the outcome of ANY particular scenario...

Just because someone has children, even SEVERAL children, is NO GUARANTEE that those same children will be around (or indeed even still alive), much less that they will be "devoted" to their parents... in fact much more likely is that those children will be VERY busy and preoccupied with their OWN lives, their OWN wives/children, etc.

Ergo what your acquaintance and brother are engaged in is -- in essence -- nothing more than "wishful thinking"... maybe it will all work out in the way that they imagine; or maybe it won't... only time will tell.

* Kid commits (or is accused/convicted of committing) some major crime -- cue multiple THOUSANDS of dollars to bail his arse out of jail, hire lawyers, etc... as well as HUNDREDS of hours of "grief, anger, introspection" (i.e. "where did we go wrong" etc; and probably more than one "fight" as to who is to blame) -- alternately daughter gets pregnant/son gets some chick pregnant; again cue the costs/anxiety -- or kid gets into major ACCIDENT and/or otherwise causes someone else significant harm... again, cue the... well you get the idea.

BTW, the more kids someone has, the higher the risk of not just ONE, but possibly ALL of those things happening to/with one (or another or more) of their children.

Bossdonut · 2017-11-14T17:21:16+00:00

I worry about being alone but I don't want kids at all ever. No step kids no adoptions nothing. Cats and dogs for me.

No rotten ass spawnlings chaining me down. Total freedom.

CeleritySteam · 2017-11-14T17:22:47+00:00

You'll be alone regardless. The question is whether or not you will be happy. The more your happiness comes from without the less of it you will have. It is that simple.

If you really have strong paternal instincts hire a surrogate in another country. This will cost several tens of thousands of dollars + cost of raising a kid and will still be vastly less inexpensive than the alternative.

mitch32uk · 2017-11-14T17:55:40+00:00

I'll sum it up in 3 words FUCK THEM ALL. scared to grow old alone? No way life is to perfect right now, if I grow grey and old alone then I will face it with a giant glass of whisky and a smile

NeverNeverLandIsNow · 2017-11-14T18:01:28+00:00

I fucking hate when parents start spewing that bullshit "life is not worth living without kids". Not everyone wants kids and there is nothing fucking wrong with that. DO NOT let people make you think there is anything wrong with not wanting kids. I am 50 years old and recently divorced and never had kids (in fact I left my wife because she tried to make me adopt some kids I wanted nothing to do with, not at my age) I have not once regretted not having kids and I don't see that changing.

As far as being old and alone. Having kids is no guarantee they will visit you when you are old, plenty of examples of kids sticking parents in a home and pretty much ignoring them after that. As far as being isolated, that is up to you, if you make an effort to make friends then you can have an active social life at any age.
As far as the grave, why would you care if someone vists your grave, you are gone and are not going to give a fuck about anything at that point so that is a stupid argument in my eyes. We are all going to die alone, no one gets to go with you on that journey.

frankmarlowe · 2017-11-14T18:21:50+00:00

I have a quiet suicide planned out for when I grow too old to be independant. Nothing too elaborate. Prolly just some hardcore sedatives, enough to knock me uncoscious before shutting my organs down.

Before that tho, I'll liquidate/destroy any assets I have, take out as many bogus loans as I can, and just max out all my cards doing whatever I want until the last of the money is spent. Then find a nice quiet spot out in the middle of nowhere, wash the pills down with my favorite alcohol, and quietly fade away. In so soing I'll leave behind a handful of people who will get the fuck over it, and a mountain of uncollectable debt because fuck the loan sharks of the world. THAT is how you hurt the 1%.

Brokemgtow · 2017-11-14T22:12:30+00:00

Have them if u want, don't have them in america though; have em in a place like

the Dominican republic (which is my country of origin)

or if you do live in america or europe have em through a surrogate mother. peace

One more thing;

nothing is more satisfying then self actualization

JulianaSun · 2017-11-15T03:17:30+00:00

I am 54. I married once for 5 years in 1988. Divorced 1991. Had to work 12 hours a day 5 days a week. The other days were spent at the laundromat and grocery shopping. In 1997 I had to have a partial hysterectomy. Could never have kids. I was 35. I have dated some, but got hurt real bad and gave up. I didn't plan on it being forever. Due to life's circumstances, I am no longer a catch. I am trying to get back to being a catch and I am trying to move back to MI, but I need help physically. All the men in this small town in TN are married or unavailable. A lot of men don't want women over 40. Even if they're 75.My father passed away in 2008, my mother is 80 and lives an hour away. My brother just came off of life support and is very sick. My other brother is in FL. He just lost his wife suddenly. My other brother is in DC and not able to leave. I ask myself everyday "Who is going to push my wheelchair?" I am so lonely. When I was little, all I wanted to do was fall in love, get married, have kids and be a housewife and mother. My Dad pushed college but I wasn't interested. I just wanted to be a wife and mother. I was a child of the 60's and 70's and that's what women did till the womens lib movement. I never was a womens libber. I wanted the married with children title. My relatives would tell me "One day you'll meet your soulmate, Mr. Right, your prince..." and on and on. Well, I did.I loved my ex and took our vows seriously. I divorced him because he beat me. I know I did the right thing, but I sure miss being married. Now...I see my future as this. Watching more and more friends and loved ones die, and when I cant care for myself, my brothers will toss me in a state funded nursing home where I will be drugged up and nobody will visit. I may get raped there, (my beloved grandmother was raped at the nursing home). I will die with nobody there. Listen to me. Life can be great as a single person. Just make sure you plan for your elder years. I didn't. I thought I would meet my Mr Right. I never did. And I am very sad and lonely. Best wishes in all you do. 💝

balancedben · 2017-11-15T05:04:05+00:00

In this culture we'll all wind up growing old alone and unloved whether we married or not or have kids or not.

tiredofshit · 2017-11-14T14:04:06+00:00

We are about the same age OP. I have 3 children. For me it's not about dying alone, but leaving a legacy. When I am gone they will be all that is left to show the world I ever existed at all.

Does anyone ever worry about being childless and growing old alone?

Comments

Virtually ALL people with YOUNG children LOVE to express these lines of thought.

Ayah, not very likely anymore is it.

LOL

Title	Does anyone ever worry about being childless and growing old alone?
Author	ClearUnderstanding
Upvotes	7
Comments	99
Date	November 14, 2017 1:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7cvj7h/does_anyone_ever_worry_about_being_childless_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/does-anyone-ever-worry-about-being-childless-and.536036 https://theredarchive.com/post/536036