Girlfriend asked for open a relationship

BruceWaynee2000 · 2020-03-10T20:02:41+00:00

[deleted]

souris101 · 2020-03-10T20:56:41+00:00

holy shit get some balls dude. 5 years ? Depressed about a whore wanting to fuck someone else other than you???? I hope this is fake.

DangZagnut · 2020-03-10T20:12:51+00:00

Therapy is the joke and strip mall field of psychology.

Do not, under any circumstances, go to a female therapist.

If you feel you want one, get a male one.

Therapy at its core is designed for women. It really does not work on men to the same extent.

Morb357 · 2020-03-10T22:11:13+00:00

Bong hits and videogames my man. Fire up Skyrim again and play it. Fun shit. Watch some pornhub--great Asian chicks on there. Love Asians. Take a shit and read something good at the same time---very enlightening. Trying to help.

DavidLoPan13 · 2020-03-10T20:24:59+00:00

You dodged a bullet.

Ocjab · 2020-03-10T21:22:22+00:00

The first step is recognizing you have a problem, this problem is external validation. As long as you crave external validation, you will never find peace. Because people's minds change all the time, they might like you one day and next day they won't. Stop basing your entire life on external validation. The only validation you need, is your own. Not a woman's, not ours nor anyone else's but your own.

We are born with a lot of external validation from our parents, especially in this society. The mother gives us too much attention. In a way that we get addicted to it and never lose that addiction.

Learn to look at yourself for who you are and accept who you are. Then think about what would makes you happy? I for one am a person that puts loyalty, respect and health first place. It's a different take on: "Live by the sword, die by the sword". I will improve myself, with these goals in mind, everyday until the day I die.

Other people have different takes on life and what makes them happy. There is no wrong path, there is only YOUR path.

What you need to understand with therapist's is that if everyone is healthy, they would earn no money. The longer you stay in this perpetuated depression, the more money they earn. It's time for you to let go, just let it go. Stop fighting, stop sacrificing, stop wasting your ONLY life.

Here is a nice reality check for you, something I always had a hard time in movies but I was too stubborn to accept it until I was red pilled. When you sacrifice your life for a woman, there is a 99% chance that she will already be banging some other dude the next month, she might even bring him to your funeral. Your sacrifice, your pain, means nothing to this world.

Now look into that mirror and say: "I am a MAN." Say it with pride! All of us mgtow know that it is in you. Because we all were, where you are now. It won't be easy, take your time. It took me 2-3 years to accept all of this.

nepane · 2020-03-10T20:23:21+00:00

Therapy helped me be „normal“. Aka beta provider. Honestly, i would not have settled for „the love of my life“ and the dead bedroom we have now were it not for therapy. Perhaps it did help me see some things in other perspective, but honestly, I don’t know what would i be without therapy.

Getting older is the best cure for many things. Also, check stoicism, perhaps meditation.

Or try shrooms, apparently 1 trip of shrooms rewires your brain. I plan to do that as soon as shroom season starts here (plan to hunt them in the nature).

taroopher · 2020-03-10T21:56:32+00:00

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Misogynist-youth · 2020-03-10T22:21:15+00:00

Let me help you see this better.

Your favourite prostitute want you to pay her while she fuck other men.

TigPlaze · 2020-03-10T21:26:31+00:00

Pat yourself on the back for your choice. If a woman asks for an open relationship, that relationship is already over anyway. It's her way of saying, "Let me shop for an upgrade over you, but if I don't find one, I'll stay with you." Shitty deal. You were right to walk away from it. Celebrate dodging a bullet.

If you need a therapist, make sure you get one who doesn't judge you in any way for being male. It will almost certainly have to be a man therapist because almost all women are incapable of understanding our suffering.

bpdloveoflife · 2020-03-10T23:59:52+00:00

I am sorry to hear this happened to you.

Remember this - your value as a person is not determined by how she treated you. Nothing you ever did or said is the reason for what she did. She did this because she is a piece of shit. Period. Nothing else.

The fact that you still feel bad about it after all these years really shows that you are a good person. I will take stab in the dark and say you are a patient guy who likes to do nice things to others and put smile on everybody around you. You are probably the guy that your friends and family count on, and are proud to know you. You feel most happy when you are making others happy. Am I on the right track?

What should I do heal this? Do terapist consultations really work?

Therapist would help you, but I can tell you roughly how the process works. Its the same as grieving for a loved one who passed away. There are many stages in grief - the final stage is acceptance. You have to accept that a horrible thing happened to you and it was not your fault. If you were to lose a loved one to a freak lightning - would you blame them for that happening? No. It was an unavoidable accident.

This situation is the same. You gut hit by a lightning and you had no way to control it. Yes, it was a crushing blow. But you will move past this.

When you learn that its okay to love yourself just the way you are, that you are a worthy human being and you do not need any validation from anyone to accept this, this will just be a memory.

faltHes · 2020-03-10T20:40:41+00:00

Some people will swear by therapy. Others will say don't waste your time or money on it. You're likely going to be consulted by a woman, with vastly different life experiences compared to an average man. You have to consider how likely it would be that your female therapist has lived a similar experience to your ex. Take that for what you will. Do you want to relive that experience and dwell on the heartbreak any longer? That's what therapy will do.

Not saying you should pent up your feelings on it. But you also shouldn't let go of the pain. Pain is a big factor in how humans learn. It keeps us from repeating stupid mistakes, and if you forget the pain, you repeat the mistakes that cause it.

I'd recommend you take up a masculine hobby. Buy some weights and lift when you are frustrated. Doesn't need to be a lot of weight. Improvise with ropes and some heavy objects if you have to. Do 10 or 20 situps, or more, when you're down. It clears the mind. If you don't want to do or can't do these physical activities, join a wolf pack in an online game, or just do what you enjoy. Crack open a beer or four, and listen to some high energy music that you don't associate with her.

Any trinkets or random crap you might have left over related to her? Just tuck them away in a closet and don't look at that crap. You don't have to throw that shit away unless you want to.

It's only ever going to be up to you to grab this life by the balls and make it what you want it to be. Take solace in the fact that you're alive and can live in relative comfort. She's chasing dick, and you're chasing the future. Who wins here?

z31fanatic · 2020-03-10T21:03:15+00:00

5 years and you're still not over it?

I don't know if anything can help you. Only you can help yourself.

evergreen35 · 2020-03-11T03:21:36+00:00

Move On

Your DNA won't let her go

DannyTTT55 · 2020-03-10T22:22:36+00:00

Why are you traumatised over this. You dodged one massive bullet, and it would only get worse. More likely than not she would divorce you in a second

2020-03-11T00:30:17+00:00

Ok, I've been through a similar hell and no, therapists don't help. You know what therapy is? A very long winded bullshit road that eventually leads to meditation. If you want to heal, look up videos or articles regarding meditation. You do it in stages because if you've never done it, it's hard to last even 5 minutes. You'll build up your self discipline this way.

The simplest meditations are usually the best. Pick a positive emotion; love, patience, kindness, etc and meditate just on that word for a few minutes while breathing slowly and in a set rhythm (4 counts in, 4 out. 5 in, 5 out. 10 in 10 out, find what works for you).

You may find yourself looking into different sects of spirituality which can teach you things. The trauma you're feeling is likely betrayal, moreso to do with betrayal of yourself and you'll likely need to work on not just forgiving her for hurting you, but forgiving yourself for hurting you.

me-dgaf · 2020-03-11T06:58:21+00:00

She was never yours, it was just your turn.

Whether it was 5 years ago, now, or when she divorce rapes you, it's in their DNA. So move on, spin plates, hit the gym, do anything. But for fuck's sake, don't pine after something that was never yours.

aoeAoeAOeAOEAOEEE · 2020-03-11T08:25:58+00:00

you wasted five years of your life thinking about what a lesser object told you?

stop simping. move on. work on yourself and mentally block it out.

anon_likes_tendies · 2020-03-11T10:49:29+00:00

Just be thankful you dodged an artillery shell back then.

Equivalent-Craft · 2020-03-10T22:12:08+00:00

You dont needa pay some clown whos gonna repeatedly ask. 'How does that make you feel?'. You know how you feel. Keep ur mind busy...as iv suggested to othets b4. Brazilluxn jiu jitsu pulled me into line. Good fitness, good for self esteem good pple. Go try a free lesson. Get outa the house...what ya got to lose...

OrcLuck · 2020-03-10T23:59:56+00:00

You don't need a therapist if you can resolve how the relationship broke apart logically to yourself. If you need anything its a psychologist you've had a long bout of depression and need medication. Depression is a brain injury and drugs can help get you back to feeling normal again.

custoscustodis · 2020-03-11T00:19:47+00:00

You are stuck blaming yourself for your perceived shortcomings. The reality is, you did the right thing and preserved your dignity. She tried to change the relationship, you didn't want that and you walked.

You won. You would have lost if she had stayed with you and cheated. Or gotten pregnant. Or if you had accepted the open relationship just to be with her. Because you avoided these things, which would have REALLY traumatized you, you showed her that you have dignity and self respect.

Still feel bad? Check out whoever she is with now and watch how she is running him ragged.

Nighthanger · 2020-03-11T01:33:27+00:00

Man, go watch Steph is Cold videos on YouTube.

KneeDeepThought · 2020-03-11T14:13:25+00:00

Yes therapists help. In general something that you can't shake off after 18 months is a pretty deep trauma so you need to get some help on it. Most company health insurance covers several visits to a mental health counselor per year at least. Try to find a male counselor nearby you who is accepting new patients. There's no weakness or shame in it- they will help you develop introspective tools to understand your own mind and why you think and feel the way you do. Before you go to the therapist I would advise you to write down everything that's bothering you, it helps to be able to put it into words.

You can't stop the storm clouds from gathering, but you can make your roof stronger. You will have bad days and good days with it, but the negative feelings should start to fade over time and become less frequent. It hurts to be treated like you're disposable, I get it. But, remind yourself you acted with integrity and honor and they mistreated you for it. IN the long run you get to hold your head higher and sleep better at night. And in the future, when people show a hint of this behaviour you will know to drop them from your life immediately.

themenacehimself · 2020-03-11T14:33:25+00:00

Control your thoughts first and foremost. Begin to remember all the hobbies you had, start eating right/working out/reading. Rebuild your confidence. BLOCK HER ON ALL SOCIALS. OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND. Don’t give her power over you.

Invduck77 · 2020-03-10T22:46:57+00:00

Still depressed? You may have a chemical imbalance. Get some happy pills. Outside of that. You already won. You did exactly what you should have. She is just a hoe.

blacktortoise69 · 2020-03-10T23:07:16+00:00

5 years? Should have taken less than a week. She is 1 woman. There are billions.

Title	Girlfriend asked for open a relationship
Author	taroopher
Upvotes	88
Comments	55
Date	March 10, 2020 7:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/fgjy36/girlfriend_asked_for_open_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/girlfriend-asked-for-open-a-relationship.366805 https://theredarchive.com/post/366805

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