Gold digger

My boyfriend is a doctor; he has no debt, and makes an easy 200k and change. We’ve been dating for 3 years now.

Last Friday, he took me to this beautiful, very expensive restaurant and proposed. I cried tears of joy and said yes. When he proposed, I didn’t even look at the ring; I just knew I wanted him.

I’ve been wearing the ring he gave me, and I feel horrible about myself, but I just plainly don’t like it. It looks very cheap, the diamond is tiny, and it honestly looks like one of those rings you see in display at Walmart. Earlier today, curiosity got the best of me, and I asked him how much did he spend on the ring. He actually looked really proud and said he got it for a huge steal; the jeweler said it was worth $1000, but he got it for $350.

I’m not going to lie. I was hurt. This man has no debt, he makes an incredible salary, and he couldn’t even get me a ring worth a day of his salary. Not a single friggin day. I told him that I appreciated the proposal and I do want to marry him, but I don’t really like the ring he picked out; it looks really cheap, it is cheap, and it seems like he didn’t really put effort into it.

He was hurt by what I said. He said he picked a “minimalist” design because I’m a minimalistic person. I told him while this is true, this is something that’s supposed to symbolize our love. I didn’t think he needed to spend the traditional 3-months salary, but I don’t think a $3000 ring (approx. 3-4 days salary for him) would be too unreasonable to ask for. I showed him some ring designs I found online I liked in the $2000-3000 range, and told him that if he found something cheaper that I liked, I would be open to that option, but I’m wearing that thing forever; I want to love it, and I want to look at it knowing how much my (future) husband loves ME. The fact that we have multiple video game systems and other things HE loves worth more than my ring just….makes me sad.

He told me I was being materialistic, and that he’d be more comfortable saving that money towards a honeymoon or a house. He said he will get another ring if I really hate my ring, but spending more than $500 was straight-up not happening. I told him that that’s fine, but my “yes” is conditional on getting a better ring that I actually like, and he will be very hard-pressed to find one I like for less than $500. If I’m not worth the cost, then I know where he stands.

He just left at that point, and we haven’t really talked much since then. I feel just so unloved; is a ring really going to be the thing that breaks up a strong 3-year commitment. Like a $350 ring? Are you kidding me? AITA for thinking he’s being an inconsiderate jerk for spending half a day’s salary on my engagement ring, and AITA for making my proposal conditional?

EDIT: I've been told to lead with things I mentioned in the comments, such as he has spent $4000 on a Vegas trip, and he's normally not frugal with other things in his life (for example, he has wine more expensive than the ring he bought me), and I just feel unappreciated and that he values his things more than the ONE thing I ever asked for.

I just wanted to say that this was probably the worst post I’ve ever made on Reddit. Sure, I put a lot of costs into my OP; I’m overly analytical as it stands and I was just trying to convey the fact that he, as a doctor, can afford much more than he was willing to spend.

This was taken as an opportunity to run with the “she’s a shallow gold digger who only wants his money” narrative. Never mind the fact that I never ask for anything for my boyfriend. I cook/clean the house without any help from him, we often go Dutch in dates, hell I just bought him a new $500 watch because his birthday is next month (worth more than the ring), and I do pretty much the opposite a gold digger would do.

Sure, call me materialistic because I don’t want a cheapo crappy clearance ring, but the amount of people trying to insist I’m only after him after his money, when it’s patently false, has solidified the fact that I will never post here again. Thank you for those who commented in good faith.

ALSO, RELEVANT TO THE POST; BOLDING BECAUSE PEOPLE KEEP COMMENTING ADVICE WHEN IT'S NOT NEEDED. Me and my boyfriend talked. When he realized I was offended at gestures, such that he spent 10x as much on a weekend for himself at Vegas, and I feel he just doesn't value me, he saw where I was coming from and understood how having wine in his cellar worth more than my ring can make me feel unappreciated. He's the "who gives a shit about a dumb rock" person, but when he realized it was valuable to me, he realized it doesn't matter if we share the same values; it's important to me.

Since then, he's now shopping for a ring that he can afford, but what I'd actually like.