I guess I read this subreddit too much and that's why I'm suddenly starting to panic about things I didn't think about before at all, but I'm only 19 years old and recently I've been thinking about the so called "wall" a lot.

I already have low self esteem as is and the thought of my worth as a person and a girl diminishing more and more as time passes honestly terrifies me. I'm slightly drunk, I'd probably be too proud to admit this stuff on here otherwise, but reading about all these desperate older women you describe scares me a lot, I don't ever want to be like that. I don't know many that are like that from my point of view but I guess they must exist. How can I avoid it, or at least try to soften the blow a little bit?

I already make an effort to become more knowledgeable about topics that interest me, to become an interesting conversational partner and to develop skills that will be useful to me and others in the future, but I feel like none of those things will matter when I hit "the wall", because then no one will care enough to talk to me about these topics or spend enough time with me to profit from whatever things I'll hopefully be really good at when I'm older and have had time to grow as a person. I feel fucking ridiculous, I have never felt like the older women I've met were pathetic or had no skills, but for some reason I'm convinced that that's what I'll be like.

Since you guys are constantly complaining about the vapid and entitled nature of women and the way they start to become more desperate with age - is there a way to counter this process in your opinion? This isn't about getting men at an older age, it's more about finding a way to feel comfortable enough with myself that I won't be worried about getting men in the first place. Kind of like you guys with the MGTOW thing.

Like I said I don't see other women like this but for some reason after reading so much of this subreddit I'm terrified I will fit into your stereotypes one day. Do you really believe it's just "female nature" and it cannot be avoided? Sorry if this post is just stupid rambling, if it is against the sub rules I can delete it of course. Actually, it probably is against the rules but I'm posting it anyway because I feel like I'm more likely to get honest answers on here than on /r/advice or something.