I've been single for a long time. I never knew why as I always had options tbh. I guess I always knew there was something off in the benefit/balance of a long term commitment to a woman.

I was "in love" a couple of times in my life and I was ready to shower her with money and attention, but I guess that attracts all the wrong types of women.

Truth is I do have this girl aquaintance that is pretty and desireable in many ways, but she is very transparent (unknowingly to her) when she is proding around matters like money, future plans for the family, kids etc. I've noticed that she has very strict ideas on what she wants her life to be like, but they're all unrealistic or depending on a stable provider. I know she is interested in me (long term) so I test her sometimes. I tell her I'll be getting a promotion at work, that I'll get a new car, that I don't mind if the wife is at home not being employed if I earn enough money etc. Every time I throw these baits her eyes get that twinkle in them. And obviously I don't want to be her loser provider while she fucks other guys around. I still haven't gone full mgtow yet and I'm on the fence as to drawing a line or trying to find a decent woman who can really offer me the things that I need in this life.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't feel like I would be happy with her 100%. I know I would have to be a "yes maam" guy to avoid constant fights - and that just isn't me. I've been single for far to long to go and suddenly be a "yes maam" guy.

I guess I still think there might be decent women in this world, women who work hard and don't take anything for granted. Women who understand their husbands and build them up, build up their confidence and courage, who support their husbands... Maybe that's all just a TV lie, but I could swear I've seen wives like that when I was growing up. Maybe that's why I'm still on the fence with the whole mgtow thing.

I've read "Anatomy of female power" and I find many things incredibly useful there. But I can't fully wrap my head around the opinion that all women are a waste of time and resources.