oh boi.

Little backstory here. My wife and I have been married 12 years and have two kids. She was married before for five years and had one kid with the ex. They divorced because he was an abusive piece of shit and she got full custody of their kid with him only seeing the little dude maybe once a month if that. We met a few years after that. I adore my stepson. To me, he's my kid. I've never liked her ex-husband. He's been in and out of his kid's life for years now and never has a stable job or place to live. We try to be civil and have given him more than enough chances to get his shit together. He doesn't pay child support and we've even loaned him money in the past to help him out. Yeah, it's probably stupid on my part but my stepson loves his Dad and my wife and I don't want him to see his father struggling. Last month he came to us and asked for more money. He wasn't working, was about to be evicted from his apartment, and has ruined all his relationships with family and friends so he had no where else to go. I told him we can't lend him any more money but we do have a finished basement with a bonus room, living room, and bathroom that he could use if need be. My wife agreed this would be the best situation as he could get a job and save money, and also see his kid more. Since he moved in everything has been a nightmare. He got a job but has been calling out almost every day. He's not contributing to food, which was part of the agreement. He just sits on the patio and smokes or sleeps or watches movies with the volume so loud it shakes the house. He's also yelled at our other kids for stupid shit. We've told him multiple times his behavior is not ok and it feels like all he's done is take advantage of us. He comes to my wife almost every day crying and wanting to talk. She's a stay at home mom so she's there a lot but lately she's been leaving as soon as the two older kids get on the bus and taking the baby to my mom's house or hanging out with friends to avoid him. He's been asking weird questions and making odd statements. For example, he somehow overheard my wife and I having sex one night and commented on it the next day. Or he'll ask my wife "What's wrong with me. Why doesn't anyone love me. Why is my life so terrible." I told him it's not her responsibility to be his therapist. He's also asked her to make him food and do his laundry which I made very clear was not ok to ask of her. The last straw was today. My wife was home with the baby napping and I had already gone to work. She had the bedroom door closed but not locked. She woke up to him standing over her, asking her to take his temperature because he didn't feel well. She freaked out and told him to get out. He then kept trying to come back in the bedroom to talk to her and ask her odd questions again. She immediately woke the baby up, got her dressed, and left. Then called me. I can't leave work and won't be home til later but I'm trying to convince myself not to just beat the shit out of him when I get home. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't want my stepson to see his father homeless and living in his car, but I can't deal with him disrespecting my wife, my other children, and my home. Please help me think rationally and not just go off on this dude when I get home.

Edit: Thanks for all the advice. The plan is going to be to contact my attorney tomorrow to see if there any legal steps I need to take to get him out. If not, I'm packing up the kids and wife and sending them to my parents until Monday. I've got the next three days of work and can take more time if needed to sort all this out. I've got friends and two brothers who can help move him out if need be. I'm just going to eat the financial cost of a rental truck and a month at a cheapo apartment just to get him out. To me, it's worth it to not have him here anymore. I'll also update over the weekend. Thanks everyone!