Someone once said, "A man marries a woman hoping she will never change, a woman marries a man hoping he will".

For me it was a case of marrying her hoping she will change. We met up 8 years ago, both Christian, both regular church goers. I fell in love with something that did not exist, something that was in my imagination of how love should be.

I foolishly agreed to abstain from any sexual contact until marriage, not even handjobs, not even french kissing.

3 years later it's our wedding night, we undress, she goes into a sulk as she climbs into bed. Cries, sulks, bitches... but no sex. Ok be patient I thought.

It's now 5 years later, we've never physically had sex. It turned out she is not physically capable of intercourse due to some issue with a blockage in her vagina that would require surgery to remove. She can have periods, but no sex.

She did not mention this until 2 years into the marriage, she knew all along but always put off sex and I always told myself to be patient.

So anyway, I thought ok no sex at least we can kiss, so I suggest open mouth kissing. She tried, but hated it, winced. So I suggested some french kissing, just the tips of our tongues touching, she tried and was disgusted and almost vomited saying it was like touching a slug with her tongue.

Just be patient, I kept saying to myself. You're a good man, you're a godly Christian man, be a good husband.

I thought it would be easier if she at least gave me relief, so I politely asked her for a blowjob. Her response was so look me in the eye and calmly say "If you ever ask that question again I will divorce you".

So, I suggested I give her oral, just to give me some intimacy. Again, she refused.

I suggested she give me a handjob, she agreed but i'm not allowed to ejaculate anywhere outside her vagina as she believes its a sin if a man ejaculates outside a womans pussy.

So, no handjob, no oral, no kissing, no intercourse and to top it all off she demands I save up thousands to buy her land and a house and move back to her country of origin (Poland, i'm English living in England).

Gentleman, you cannot win this game. If you marry a Christian woman hoping she'll give you hot sex after marriage then you are wrong, she won't change.

If you marry a woman who is already giving you hot sex and hope it continues, then you are still wrong, she will change once the wedding ring is on her finger.

Either way, a man needs marriage like a fish needs a bicycle.

She is moving back to Poland in a few weeks, everyday is hell, sheer hell, the nagging, the controlling behaviour even trying to control how I sit in my hair, how i breath (through nose or mouth), how I comb my hair, what clothes I wear.

Maybe I just married an extreme cunt, but guys if you are considering marriage then I would be happy to get on my knees and beg and plead with you not to. Don't go through what i've gone through, don't have your balls cut off, don't have your self esteem crushed.

I know there is nobody else to blame, I was ignorant, I believed the lies about love & marriage, I wanted to be a good loving husband and father. But it's a sham, it's all a sham. Marriage, love... everything.

Don't make the mistake I did, learn from the more mature MGTOW's here who went through the same thing.

Hit the gym, read as many books as you can, travel, take up playing a musical instrument, get a motorcycle, learn a martial art. You can be the perfect version of yourself, you can be a better man today than you was yesterday... but not if you are married.

UPDATE: Gentleman, just wanted to say thankyou for the support and good advice. The reality is the last 12 months were sheer hell and she drove me to the point of feeling suicidal. It was coming to r/MGTOW that saved me from going over the edge. The MGTOW community actually stopped me giving in and just ending it all with a leap off a multi-story car park. She is still happy to move back to Poland in 2 weeks, i'm just doing my best not to rock to boat, not to upset her. I've spent the last 6 months sleeping on the sofa, that seems to make her happy. I hope other men driven to feeling suicidal by women also find solace and a refuge in MGTOW. I suspect i'm not the only man to have been down that road, and found the road to MGTOW as salvation :)