Yea, yea....I know. Don't get married.

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But for those of you who are married and feel divorce may be inevitable or you're a blue pilled lurker worried about your future, let me make some suggestions based on my experience going through the divorce rape process and actually not getting raped.

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1) The most important thing to understand at the very beginning is that when it comes to divorce law, the law does NOT care about what's right or fair or equitable or any of that. It does not care that your soon to be ex wife rode the cock carousel. Courts don't want to hear it. The law cares about the law and the law alone.

So as emotionally charged as divorce can be, this is the time to be as NON emotional as possible. This is the time for being level headed and "just the facts ma'am." You have to try as hard as possible to keep your emotions in check. No yelling, no swearing, no threats, no nothing. Any of that crap just comes back to bite you. Fortunately, men are usually better at this than women but if you have a reputation for being a hot head, get that shit under control RIGHT NOW.

You will be dealing with a set of statutes and guidelines. If you can be as emotionless as possible, you can often times work those guidelines to your advantage.

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2) The second most important thing is to make sure that your spouse makes as MUCH money as possible during the course of your marriage. Do NOT allow her to be a stay at home mom for any length of time. That is how divorce rape can really kick into high gear. Showing that your wife has been making money and therefore is able to support herself and the kids part time will go a long way to reducing your child support and alimony obligations. If she's been out of the workforce for any length of time, you could be stuck not only supporting her but also contributing to retraining and going back to school costs for her. The court (ie: the State) does NOT want your ex wife or kids going on welfare. So if the choice is you paying exorbitant alimony and child support OR them going on welfare....you're going to be paying every god damned time.

Contrary to what we see being claimed a lot of on this forum, the laws are not actually biased in favor of women. What they are is biased AGAINST the higher earner.

Now in almost every case, that's the man because virtually no woman will be with a man who makes less than they do. So in essence, the law is de facto biased in favor of women and I understand that but the closer you can make your earnings, the smoother it will go for you.

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3) Decide on three or four things that are important to you. It's very easy to get bogged down in the muck of who is going to take the toaster oven or the bedside tables. Don't get involved in that crap. Pick your three or four important things....like.....I want 50/50 time with the kids, I want to keep my car and my retirement account. Or whatever is important to you. But don't get bogged down with minutiae.

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4) Choose your attorney wisely. In almost all cases, you're going to need someone who is an experienced deal maker, not a deal breaker. Lawyers by their very nature are adversarial and they like to argue and they like to win. It's very easy to let them get out of control and run up a huge bill. I don't think either my attorney or my ex-wife's attorney did that intentionally. It just happens because it's in their nature to try to plan for every possible contingency no matter how unlikely and then argue for hours over it. They're used to dealing with horror stories and at some point, you have to know when to throw in the towel because they will carry on forever. Also again......remember that this is not the time for emotion, as difficult as that may be. You have to approach this like a business deal. Keep your wits about you and your head screwed on straight.

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5) Don't hide assets. I see all the time on here people talking about creative ways to do this and I advise against it. Even if you think your ex-wife is too dumb to find out what you're hiding, her lawyer almost certainly isn't. The lawyers have heard it all and seen it all. The hassle that will befall you if you get caught trying to hide shit is not worth the risk.

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