The shitstorm

BoskOfPortKar · 2018-02-13T05:54:15+00:00

It's called...

DARVO

(That's an acronym for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim & Offender)

Women seem to be natural "experts" at it -- it's a sort of a variation on the strategy of "the best defense is a good offense" -- of course with women it is chiefly performed as a sort of "gaslighting" and the main weapon is words and screaming/shouting and if faced with the same in return -- which is arguably the entire GOAL of their shouting (or even being "obtuse" etc; to get YOU to shout & become "angry") -- they can then revert to "crying" which fits with the overall goal of making themselves appear as THE "victim" (i.e. "Reverse Victim & Offender")... basically the same technique a toddler uses when confronted or told "NO": tantrum then tears. (The tantrum is to trigger you to escalate & become angry, which creates a plausible reason for the tears, which are to make you feel guilty & trigger your protective/apologetic mode & instincts.)

-- IME, the most effective way of neutralizing it, both the shouting/tantrum and the inevitable crocodile tears... is to "chuckle." Literally LAUGH; then laugh some more... chuckle, shake your head, walk away and busy yourself with something productive, etc.

See, that is the ONE response -- being treated as a "silly child" despite the raging & tears -- that they not only do NOT expect, but they can do NOTHING with (what are they going to do? RAGE some more? CRY even more? Switch back and forth between Raging, then Crying, then Raging again {by the way that is what they WILL try -- respond in the same way: laugh & leave}).

-- See it for what it really IS -- an ACT, a literal "stage play" (even more so when they have an audience) -- a kind of "gaslighting" that is intended to put you off your footing, turn YOU into a "big meanie" aggressor and themselves into a "poor little victim"... it's pure bullshit.

TempleOfIron · 2018-02-13T04:57:24+00:00

Women do this when they don't respect you.

I had a live-in girlfriend years back who would pre-empt my anger so she would act angrier and absolve all responsibility. Women like to blame everything on you. Society backs them up on this.

Here's the solution. You don't have to deal with that shit. Just smirk at her and walk away, do something else. Any contribution to this 'Shit Storm' is just allowing the behavior to sit. She doesn't respect you. I suspect she gives you a dead bedroom which is typical in such marriage.

Solution would be to not deal with her shit. You don't have to put up with it.

EndlessPontification · 2018-02-13T04:57:55+00:00

Females are allergic to accountability. This is a cranial immune response and perfectly natural. Nothing to see here.

bitter_samsara · 2018-02-13T05:19:39+00:00

Condolences on being married and having to put up with this bullshit. I'm not even trying to be snarky, it sucks to see a dude in a situation like this.

Shimakaze4 · 2018-02-13T09:23:18+00:00

Every woman does it, my mother is an expert at it. If she fucks up and knows it, she will get in an angry mood with everyone and start yelling at them until either dad or I tell her to shut the fuck up. Women are basically children, they react like a child does, just watch, if you get angry at a child, their reaction is normally to act out at you. Same with women. They also use your anger to pick a fight then act like the victim. Mum's classic was to ask me "what's wrong" after I've gotten in after a long arse day at work or on the sports field. I'd answer "nothing" of course, because nothing was wrong, she would keep pushing and asking until I'd snap back at her "NOTHING jesus mum nothing is wrong ok" and then she would yell "if you're in a bad mood don't take it out on me". Was baffling to me as a kid, but as I grew up I realised she was just spoiling for an argument and fight because she has had a shitty day.

fcb98292 · 2018-02-13T06:19:18+00:00

If she gets angry with you, it's because she is hiding something. Just sayin...

78561 · 2018-02-13T05:06:31+00:00

username checks out

frikabg · 2018-02-13T05:35:17+00:00

This post is about how she knows I'm angry. Knows she fucked up, so she proceeds to go fucking psycho at everything.

Yess the good old 'I am angry at you because you are angry at me for fucking up big time' tactic. There is no solution for this she is just not right in the head if you have to explain to her that her refusing to take accountability for her actions and blaming everything and everyone else is the wrong way to go. The only action is to find a way to cause her discomfort and let her know why you are doing it and that you are there when she feels like giving you an apology. There is a risk that she might escalate things though which means that you will have to start out crazing her ass. All and all this could turn really ugly but let us face it if you take it then you are just showing her she can walk aaaaalll over your ass whenever she feels like it.

KneeDeepThought · 2018-02-13T09:57:32+00:00

Tactic #1 when your husband has a legitimate beef with you: change the subject immediately! Flip the script and make him the bad guy! Standard childish DARVO-flip behavior to avoid accountability and responsibility. Don't allow it, let her fucking smolder there in her wrongness and every time she tries to dodge you bring it back to her and use her attempted dodging to make it worse for her.

My favorite one of these was when my ex-wife was left spluttering in frustrated fury after I shut her down trying to do the same thing. She and both our kids were sick with a bad stomach bug, so I stayed home and worked from the kitchen table during a very busy day while the three of them camped out in the living room. Between meetings and client emergencies I was popping up to feed everyone, bringing them snacks, hot tea, medicine, changing diapers, putting in DVDs, taking temperatures, and making lunch. over the course of the day my wife got more sullen and angry but I didn't have time to unpack her bullshit. It was one of the busiest days I've ever had, but I got through it and stood up with a fist pump at 5 pm exclaiming "I did it!"

Well she obviously couldn't let that shit stand- I had just proven I could do her job and my job at the same fucking time so she begins to try to pick apart everything I did all day and assign blame to it. There's no way a man could do her job! I finally lost my shit when she claimed the lunch I provided the kids was totally insufficient and not really a meal. Bitch it was chicken soup, cheese and crackers for a room of people who are sick to their stomach! What would you have me cram down our toddler's throat to meet your artificially high approval bar?

That shut her right the fuck up but she was furious for days. We had fought for a long time about me getting home from work and nothing being done, while dinner was some crap she tossed in the microwave from the freezer and claimed her day had been so hard. I had just driven the nail in the coffin of her being a lazy entitled bitch and she knew it. Glad that chapter of my life is over, never going back to that shit again.

But you're right, all her anger is being projected onto you from her own insecurities and failures to care for the kids which is her only and easy job. The best part about this is that you don't even have to be angry or yell at her, just consistently prevent her changing the subject and point out her projecting her problems onto others and feigning anger is a childish dodge. She will eat herself alive from the inside every time. You win without firing a shot.

andreas-mgtow · 2018-02-13T05:37:08+00:00

this post isn't about your conspiracy Chad theories or what she might have been up to. I'm pretty sure she just fucked up...

Username checks out.

MrBluePill · 2018-02-13T07:24:29+00:00

No offence mate, but women and blue pilled men aren't welcome here.

Someone mentioned DARVO, which makes a lot of sense for you to further research on. Good luck !!

MichaelDudikoff_ · 2018-02-13T11:25:41+00:00

[deleted]

Griever114 · 2018-02-13T12:37:55+00:00

You need to understand brother.

They have NO ACCOUNTABILITY. Ever. Period.

Every single fucking time something goes wrong they can, will and DO blame someone or something.

I have been there in your shoes brother. Thankfully I got out. Sadly, there is little you can do. I have some suggestions if you are open. Pm me.

JosephBancor · 2018-02-13T15:10:49+00:00

Lol @ being legally government contract married in 2018. I'm so glad I do not have to deal with any of this stupid shit

DrunkTalkPolitics · 2018-02-13T15:24:58+00:00

Hooking up with a girl on the regular. I developed oneitis for her (my first mistake). Thought it was weird that she kept in contact with her ex, but she was at my house every night, so I didn't really consider it a red flag at the time.

Anyway, one night she didn't come over. Don't remember the reason she gave. But the next afternoon, she wanted to talk.

At around midnight the previous night, she was on her way to her ex-boyfriend's house when she got pulled over and arrested for DWI. Upon receiving this information, I got upset...not at the DWI (although that was stupid too). But what the hell was she doing going to her ex's house at midnight?

"We're just friends. See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd get mad."

Yeah, you were on your way to your ex's house at midnight after giving me some reason why you couldn't come over. Can't imagine why I'd be upset.

So she got drunk, went to go visit her ex at midnight, got arrested, then got mad at me when I called her out on it.

Back then I thought that was outrageous. Now I realize it's just par for the course.

DeathToTheZog · 2018-02-13T10:44:55+00:00

They manufacture bullshit real quick, then get upset. She knows your pissed.

Zodiac2119 · 2018-02-13T10:47:23+00:00

My mother and sisters were like this. Never apologize for anything, and if I ever showed emotion or concern over the way they handled things I was the bad guy and ended having to always apologize. Then I realized I was better off without them and started giving zero fucks.

the-rooster · 2018-02-13T15:49:27+00:00

Greetings MrBluePill

Hello.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play the game.

uniboner · 2018-02-13T09:43:17+00:00

Ya, she was getting railed by an unwashed construction worker.

0kool74 · 2018-02-13T22:07:16+00:00

and this is just one of the myriad of examples of why I'm glad i'm not married or have any kids.

2018-02-13T08:02:27+00:00

The Full Catastrophe

cashmoney_x · 2018-02-13T19:05:12+00:00

"Anyone else notice how females try and change the topic when you're angry so it's all about them?"

Guys do that as well. It's a human psychological phenomenon.

Title	The shitstorm
Author	MrBluePill
Upvotes	98
Comments	46
Date	February 13, 2018 4:50 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7x70uy/the_shitstorm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/the-shitstorm.594318 https://theredarchive.com/post/594318

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DARVO