About 4 years ago, I learned that I had a daughter. A girl that I had a casual relationship with showed up at my job and surprised me with a 2 month old baby. This girl is totally crazy, that's why I kept our relationship short and ended it when I did. She said that a Dr told her she couldn't get pregnant again (she has another daughter, 3 years older than mine). I didn't really believe her but I didn't care either. It was a big f up on my part but meeting my daughter was a special experience.

I wanted to be in my daughter's life, so I invited my baby's mother to move in with me in my house. I never made much money but have always had a job, thanks to the training I got in the military. Good work ethic, simple lifestyle and fantastic credit score.

The relationship I had with my daughters mother was ALWAYS terrible. She loves drama, never works, never left the house, never contributed to household chores, barely bathed, never brushed her teeth, constantly accused me of sleeping with other women, physically assaulted me several times, constantly threatening me to take my child out of my life.

I tried hard for about 2.5 years to make our household a livable environment for the 2 kids. About once a month, this woman would confront me as I was getting ready for work and tell me that she would move out by the time I got home from work, with my daughter. So I would call in sick to work and, throughout the day, calm her down and convince her to stay. This eventually got me fired from a good job. Attendance was the only reason given for my termination, and I can't blame them. I was never honest with my employer about the situation I was really in.

Spent a few months on unemployment and doing odd jobs for cash. Bills pileup, mortgage being paid late, constant fighting, no help coming from her in any way. She was still finding reasons to start arguments and threatening to take my child away. The stress was incredible. I told her that the next time she threatens to move out, she better back it up. So, about a month later, she threatened to move out again, with my daughter, for the 30th time. I told her that we are now broken up and she needs to find a place to go. She and her other daughter are welcome to stay while she finds a place. As long as she is actually working on getting her own place, I wouldn't hassle her about getting out. My daughter was always welcome in my home, no matter what.

Months go by, I casually remind her that she needs to move out from time to time. She isn't making any progress. We are still fighting over stupid stuff. She is still using one of my vehicles to get around and is using a cell phone that I pay for. One night I came home around 11pm, from driving a taxi, to find everyone in the house is awake and acting weird, even my dog. I knew something was up and searched around the house. Found some dude hiding in my back yard. Told him to get off my property and warned him to stay away from my daughter's mother. She is crazy, had never told to truth about anything and would ruin his life. I wasn't mad at this guy, I was disappointed with my ex that she would have a strange dude in my house, with my kid. I told my ex how I felt. The next night, while I was working, she took both kids, with my vehicle, and spent the whole night at this dude's place. I was there when they got home.

Her older daughter informed me about where they were. That is when I took away her access to my vehicles and stopped paying for her phone. She has a new dude, he can deal with her. I warned him.

She was still living in my house, not making any progress at getting her own place. That following Friday, I was in my garage, under a car that I was working on, when she came out to tell me that the sheriffs are coming to remove me from my house.

I was astonished. As I packed a bag and tried to clean up (still had to work that night) I asked her what was going on. Why the hell would the sheriff be coming to my house to remove me from it? She told me she felt threatened by me. They did come and they did remove me. From my house. For no reason other than she told them she felt threatened.

This led to me being semi homeless for about 2 months. No family in the area. Just trying to make enough money everyday to afford a room at a terrible motel. The bills for my house went unpaid. My family paid for a great family lawyer that was finally able to get a judge to remove my ex from the house so I could move back in. The ex packed up a u-haul with my daughter, her daughter, my dog and anything else she wanted from my home. They moved 500 miles away to where she had family.

So I get back into my nearly foreclosed upon house. It's a total mess. All the carpet was f'd up, all the interior walls needed repainted. I needed to do a ton of work to it and get it on the market and sold as soon as possible before the bank took it. That was my total focus for about 5 months before it finally sold. That was such a huge relief but now I had to figure out how to get back into my daughter's life. My mom lives about 3 hours from where my ex moved to. I go stay with her while I get back on my feet and get a real job again. All the while I'm communicating with my ex and daughter over the phone, begging to visit my daughter. I went almost a whole year before I got to see her, for an afternoon.

Shortly after that visit, I was served with an order of protection from my ex. Now I didn't have any way of legally contacting my daughter. I got a great job closer to where the ex and my daughter live. I work there 4 days a week and spend the other 3 days at my mother's place. I stay in cheap hotels while I'm working. I save up to hire a lawyer. I got served with child support papers. We petition for parenting time.

The pandemic is now starting, courts are backlogged. We finally get a ruling that I can spend 4 hours with my daughter, every other Saturday. Child support goes through, I'm paying nearly $1200 per month. I ask my lawyer wtf is going on here? Am I living in a clown world? How the hell did this person, representing herself, put me in this situation? Stay the course, he said. It'll get better in time, he said.

Currently, I can't afford to get a permanent place in the town where I work. Lawyer bills and child support are killing me. I'm living on the edge, it feels like a hell that'll last the next 14 years. Honestly, can't afford to pay the lawyer that got me in this financial situation, so F him. Still haven't paid last months bill. Literally don't have the money to do so. I have no money that isn't already spent. One vehicle breakdown and I'll be screwed. My job is great and if it wasn't for child support, it would be more than enough. Feels like I'm living on borrowed time. Waiting for another shoe to drop. I don't have the resources to continue with things as they are. It's only a matter of time before something happens that interferes with my ability to get to work.

I've never thought of suicide before this woman got me removed from my house. Lately, I feel that it's not if but when. I know my life is already over. I wonder why I am still putting it off? What is the easiest way? Where am I going to do it? There is no silver lining, no end to this storm. Only poverty and stress and putting on a smile for my family and co-workers.

Never trust a woman. Never let your guard down. Never believe a single thing a woman tells you. Be afraid, they have the ability to manipulate the legal system against you. Please let this be a dire warning.

Edit: My daughter has been proven to be mine. Paternity test was done before I invited them to live with me.

The other little girl from my ex doesn't have a father. The man that my ex claims is the dad passed away a few years ago, from a drug overdose. I don't believe that my ex even knows who the father really is.

Thank you to everyone that read my post. I know it's long. I want awareness for men in similar situations.