Every single problem in my life has had a woman at the center of it. They've utterly ruined my life, taken my money, what few possessions I had, destroyed my reputation to the point where I do not leave the house at all and I mean that literally, thank fuck for deliveries. I have facial scars from them (didn't leave her..), been accused of everything under the sun, I've physically fought for them and generally been decked. Even my mother repeatedly tried to kill me.

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They have completely ruined me, my life, my prospects for the future, my financial and mental stability, why then, do I feel completely dejected without one?. Inability to valiade myself?, low self esteem?, could I have inherited my mothers BPD?, can men even have that?, mostly a woman thing isn't it?.

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It's driving me mad guy's, they've destroyed me and yet I don't feel right without one around. I miss them so much yet I know damned well if I end up with another it will turn out exactly the same, AWALT 'n'all. It's fucked up bad, I know the poison is poison but I keep fucking drinking it and begging for more. I can't even play games anymore im that fucking miserable, its the epitome of escapism and I just can't get into it now.

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So guy's, what the fuck is wrong with me and is there anything you could recommed to help me drag myself out of this pit?. I sound like such a fucking cuck don't I?.