Asking for some advice.

frenchlouve · 2021-01-17T21:14:39+00:00

Just remember two things regarding family:

People, including family members, will indeed manipulate you into doing things that are entirely against your best wishes. Fact. They use the "we're family; we would never do or say anything that wouldn't be best for you" as a manipulation tactic. For instance, I might see other families and think, "Wow. Those guys are messed up. Totally dysfunctional." But it's only in 2018, when I was 33 did I realize, my family have a HUGE number of problems. They gaslight you with the family manipulation, with the whole "our family is different; we come from a much more noble way of doing things" lie.
You will suffer the consequences and not a damn thing will harm them. If you get married and kids and it does not work out. You will suffer the consequences and your family members will walk away as if nothing happened. Do you have financial woes due to marriage? You will suffer the finances and all those family members who said, "You can deal with being the financial breadwinner" won't suffer a damn thing. Are you alienated from your kids post divorce? You are suffering the consequences and all those people who said, "When you find become a parent, the joy is immense" won't have any problems.

Family members can pressure you because they will never suffer the consequences. Next time your family brings up marriage, ask them to pay a portion of the finances per month, as well as any court fees for divorce. Watch them start stuttering up a storm. Advice comes easy cuz it's free. But when they have to back up their advice with financial support, they don't wanna give you advice anymore.

cz_masterrace · 2021-01-17T19:52:24+00:00

No one else is going to be looking out for you so you better be the one to do it. If they see you happy being single and free - whats to argue?

OwenWentFullMGTOW · 2021-01-17T21:11:42+00:00

I'm with you. I understand what the word "lonely" means but I've never actually experienced it myself.

Who the hell cares if others think you're selfish? Not trying to sound like Ayn Rand or anything but other people are not entitled to what you've built for yourself. No offense to your relatives but they're not the ones who have to live your life. You do. So you should live your life on your own terms; nobody else's.

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-01-17T22:49:51+00:00

I'm similar -- introverted, enjoy being alone, rarely feel lonely, not interested in taking on the responsibility of a wife and children. I'm 59, I've been that way my whole life. Maybe it's something you'll grow out of, but I never did. I think it's just how I was made or how I am. I did get married at one point (I was in luv), but it felt like I was living someone else's life, not my own.

I've wrestled with the issue of "selfishness," too. It's a good question. I don't think there are simple answers. I can tell you that my definition of selfishness is someone who is ONLY interested in himself, does not care about others, and doesn't give a shit who he steps on to get to where he wants to go. That's different than healthy self-interest and caring about yourself, which are good things. A lot of people have unnecessary guilt feelings about "being selfish," when really all they're doing is being honest about what really matters to them, what interests them, what they feel drawn to or not.

I think it's really important, as a young man, to establish your individual identity. To really figure out who you are, what your values are, what matters to you, and to develop your understanding of yourself, and a sense of pride or self-respect about who you are. It can take a while and a lot of work, sometimes. Good luck to you.

Cordero_Biggs · 2021-01-17T19:55:03+00:00

You can only live for yourself, buddy. Anything else not only cheats you, but also anyone around you, because they're not getting your true self.

There's nothing wrong with dating casually, getting laid, and still unapologetically maintaining your own lifestyle, built to your own exacting standards.

Shalin_316 · 2021-01-17T20:11:08+00:00

I say enjoy what you got & let others do whatever they want as long as they don't berate you

https://youtu.be/iBo3KsmXn8s

SopmodTew · 2021-01-17T20:15:41+00:00

Are you from India?

Rocky9down · 2021-01-18T07:30:07+00:00

im younger than you so I don't know what advice I can give other than watching more red pill content on youtube. And also since your like more of a loner type probably getting a job where you work night shifts is better. Oh and the older you get the more they'll pressure you to get married and have kids. They'll even try to set up with someone. So to counteract this set strong boundaries before they can do any pressuring that way you have a wall to last against the storm.

Adventurous-Worker64 · 2021-01-18T09:13:01+00:00

For now education wouldn't be a bad idea, playing pump and dump with college hotties should be a right of passage anyway. If family won't back off, you could consider relocating farther away from them, finding a fresh start when possible. As of RIGHT NOW your to young to make a decision like getting married anyway, a truly supportive family would understand that. Work on improving yourself and just be a better YOU

BringTheFingerBack · 2021-01-17T20:50:09+00:00

Sounds like you will be a future CEO

JR-6420 · 2021-01-18T01:13:20+00:00

If I was 21 again believe me I’d take to gyow route for sure

JJDH85 · 2021-01-18T01:15:38+00:00

Not bashing you but I will tell you what I will tell is what I’ll tell my kids when they hit your age

I’m not breaking this up in paragraphs or proof reading it when I’m done . If there’s typos there’s typos .

Your 21 . Honestly you have no idea what ya want . Or need. I’m 35 . As of now . You can’t take care of anyone if you can’t take care of yourself . Your first priority is to yourself . Not anyone else . Your 21 . What are your debts what are you 5 yr to 10 year plan and so on. What investments and safe fall backs fo ya have . What goals . What marketable skills ? You can live off the land and be fine or you can live in luxury . Side not I sold everything to pay up my child support in a bank account for my kids . So I could see them more and not work as much and have more time with them . The only thing you have that is orecious that you can’t get back is time . That starts running out the day you decided to come into this world . Make yourself a power house whatever that means to you. What are your values and what do you honor . You have the rest of your life to figure things out . . Life’s a lot easier without debt . And being alone or having alone time to workout or ponder or meditate or make money isn’t bad . Truck drivers make load of money and are alone . However a lot of them are broke cause of there spending habits . Soldiers make a lod of lie you all over the world and they are also alone and usually in debt . What is it that drives you . What are you passionate about . You can do anything ya want as long as you work towards it and you except the guideline that come with it . Until you understand them rules or are able to change them . Read Napoleon hill. Interview with the devil . Or outwitting the devil by Napoleon hill. . And remember to always respect and value yourself . Ask any person that has a insane drive Z. And they’ll tell you respect and value first . As far as my poor concept . Look up David Goggins. He’s insane running and working out . It’s a mind state . He didn’t wake up and do that from the get go , he built up to it . You eat a elephant one bite at a time . You pick your friends not your blood family . But you can pick who ya want to be part of your family . Keep your four walls In your brain clean and protected . Follow your gut . Use your head and be weary of your heart . Gut won’t lead ya wrong . Your brain will help ya figure things out . Your heart that’s a hella emotion . Do you . Cause when your successful those same people are gunna be talking up to you and suckering up to you . And trying to get things from you . The Same people who trying to keep you on their path . Your not gunna win with people . Everyone should and usually are out for them selves . Some are just smarter . My best mate put it . I wanna see ya eat . Just not at my table . Eve. If we broke bread before or not . I want the best for ya but I’m gunna do me first . Then others .

JJDH85 · 2021-01-18T01:17:23+00:00

People are human judge you , wether you want them to or not . So judge yourself first

Ramp_Up_Then_Dump · 2021-01-18T05:58:31+00:00

Find a GF you like and look how long can you go in relationship.

You are a man, you cna have child and family even at 50s but I heard it is not as fulfilling as being a younger dad. But you wont lose your reproductability even if you wait decades.

UnearthlyDinosaur · 2021-01-19T04:01:16+00:00

I agree you should stay single. I know what you mean by being irresponsible when it comes to other people. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of that. In my life no one ever cared how I was feeling ... I don’t trust anyone really. Because I don’t trust others I feel like if I do something for them they will take advantage. And yes if you got married it will be hell i can assure you that.

The biggest thing you have to fight is that when you turn 30 all of a sudden everyone disappears and everyone is married. Finding friends might be harder as you age. I wouldn’t recommend being a social recluse.

No point bringing a child into this world given how much fucked up shit is going on.

Title	Asking for some advice.
Author	SopmodTew
Upvotes	1
Comments	22
Date	January 17, 2021 7:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/kzcvj7/asking_for_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/asking-for-some-advice.802824 https://theredarchive.com/post/802824

Comments