I was chatting with a friend few months ago. He told me he got laid. And that is nice. I like to get laid also. But then he said "it saved my self esteem"

I didn't think much of it during the conversation. But for some reason I have recalled that memory a few times lately. And have started to distance myself from the idea that anyone else can boost my self esteem than myself. You could argue, that it was him, boosting his self esteem, and the female was just an instrument. But I have rejected that idea. Mainly cause it gives to much power in to the hand of others and takes it away from yourself. If the female has the last say, then it's not really you doing the validating, it comes from the outside.

I have decided to reject sexuality as validation and now only see it as a need or enjoyable act. Anything else would lead to a life of suffering, unless you are really good looking, then the first 30 years might be enjoyable. Or real successful, then your whole life you could validate yourself trough sexuality. I just don't see it as a realist opportunity though.