How much Self-Improvement is too much?

burnett-lignon · 2021-01-04T23:39:33+00:00

I don't think of possible activities and goals as "self improvement; I think does pursuing this further my goal of being content and satisfied with my life, and take me in the direction of my long term goals. For instance there's a wide range of activities that will keep me healthy, but there's a minimum that will accomplish it. I cook almost all of my own meals, raise much of my own food and don't eat meat, and I'm very healthy at age 70, take no prescriptions and have no chronic conditions. I would likely be just as healthy if I bought healthy good quality frozen dinners, which would be easier, but I like cooking and gardening and their results.

In your comment you say pursuing self improvement without having your heart in it, produces inferior results. That's true not just for self improvement but for life overall. If I don't get joy or satisfaction from an activity, or if it diminishes my joy, I stop doing it, reduce time I spend on it or find a different method to get a needed result. One of the greatest benefits of MGTOW is that we can customize our life to satisfy each of us

ShadowyScheme · 2021-01-05T01:34:01+00:00

I had a thought last night and wondered how I'd behave if I was the only person alive in the universe. One thing I realized is that alot of anxiety relating to people, social status, finance, work, attractivenss etc would disappear.

I concluded that most "self-improvement" is relative to other people. I'd say focusing on your psychological relationship with other people may yield better results than becoming the "perfect" person. Other areas that don't rely on other people (personal health, knowledge etc) should be cultivated out of self-respect.

Just my thoughts.

YouSaidChicken · 2021-01-04T22:12:28+00:00

Improving your diet to be healthy is one thing. Improving your diet until you're an emaciated skeleton because of your body issues is not.

Going to the gym and strength training is improvement. Taking illegal steroids and health damaging drugs to gain an extra 1mm of muscle, is not improvement.

That's when your'e improving "too much", to the point it's controlling your life.

SapereAude-Incipe · 2021-01-05T06:53:12+00:00

I wrote a post about this topic a couple of weeks ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/k7i1fq/why_focus_on_improving_yourself/

I would say, that self-improvement for the purpose of self-improvement is useless.

BUT self-improvement was a huge motivation- or better said a satisfaction source. I could narrow this down for me to the core of setting goals and achieving those. So you need to find something where you get the motivation to endure some hardships to achieve goals. self-improvement is just one of the easier solution (if you don't bother anymore with the whole social stuff) to trigger this mechanism.

plamplamthrow0321 · 2021-01-06T08:16:00+00:00

the phenomenon you describe sounds like what i call "toxic positivity."

aka, self improvement, influencers, and "PMA" types that will never acknowledge reality if it makes them "unhappy" or requires them to admit things aren't 100% A-OK.

in that light, i say, hell no, improvement for its own sake "just because" is dangerous and toxic. as you identified, it should be something you genuinely want. the "improvement" industry is everywhere, but especially in dating, fitness, and finance. Is important to have your own definition of what "improvement" really is, and compare with what the talking heads are saying. Evaluate. And discard what is toxic and unnecessary toward your own happiness.

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-01-05T12:00:53+00:00

As for the question of when "self-improvement" goes awry, I'd suggest two barometers:

First, when "self-improvement" makes you increasingly dissatisfied and discontent with your self or life, that's a sign that it might be unhelpful. Granted, sometimes dissatisfaction is a good motivator (e.g., maybe there's a bad habit you need to kick). But there are a lot of self-improvement gurus who push for ever-greater heights of "excellence" or "success" or whatever they're trying to sell you on. While this can pump you up for change, it also instills dissatisfaction with your self and life. You can't help but feel like you don't measure up, because you fall so short of the ideals they promote.

One of the big shifts in my life came when I recognized that self-improvement often took the form of learning to accept and to be my real self, and live from that, rather than try to achieve some idealized version of who I thought I should be. In other words, sometimes, self-improvement means self-acceptance.

Another way to say this is, if you find yourself always striving to be and have more, and being dissatisfied with who/where you are, then your "self-improvement" has gone awry. There's something unhealthy and addictive about that.

Second, if you feel like there is some kind of obligation to do it, some "have to," a pressure, then it's a sign self-improvement may be off track. There is no rule that says you have to improve yourself. I personally think it's a good thing to do, but no one is obligated to do it.

Even for those who believe in self-improvement, everyone has their own pace and their own level of aspiration. Maybe I'm fine with being Level 5 on the self-advancement scale (I'm making that up, of course). Maybe I just want to hang out at Level 5 for a while. Maybe I'll work on getting to Level 6 later. Or maybe I'll just stay at Level 5. Hell, maybe I'll slide back down to Level 4 for a while, then regroup.

There's no rule that says you "have to" improve yourself. We all take it at our own pace. I'd say that if you're not enjoying it, and if it's becoming more a "should" and "have to" than something you genuinely want to do, that's a sign it's gotten off track.

Prudentanalyst79 · 2021-01-05T18:52:14+00:00

I believe a great philosopher once said, "Self improvement is masturbation".

If you're committed to self improvement as a life focus, try not to self improve more than 2 or 3 times a day. Learn when to recognize that self improvement may be addicting. If self improvement should be all you think about, you may have a problem. For example, if you see a 65 lb kettlebell and begin thinking that you would like to use that someday for your deltoid presses even though you are only using a 35 lb bell, you may be placing too much emphasis on improvement. If you have to hide your self improvement from others, or if you find your friends or family or work are suffering as a result of excessive self improvement, it may be time to let things slide. Remember: a sloppy unimproved person is a well rounded person.

lefttennant · 2021-01-06T02:32:50+00:00

You should always self-improve, forever, because you'll never be perfect. However, you shouldn't hate yourself because you're always imperfect. And you shouldn't allow a drive to self-improvement be a factor in another person's manipulation of you (self-improvement 'gurus')

Title	How much Self-Improvement is too much?
Author	PacificPanache
Upvotes	1
Comments	8
Date	January 4, 2021 10:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/kqjby1/how_much_selfimprovement_is_too_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/how-much-self-improvement-is-too-much.803146 https://theredarchive.com/post/803146

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