Recently separated

aquaticscrotum6969 · 2020-02-17T07:55:18+00:00

I get it. They are impossible to make happy. Quit trying.

EVILSTORM1 · 2020-02-17T10:49:09+00:00

Time to bail mate, it only gets worse.

2020-02-17T13:46:48+00:00

Record everything. Protect yourself and your children. Do not show your hand.

Intelligent-Term · 2020-02-17T13:42:09+00:00

I obviously don't know enough about you or your situation, so I'll just talk in generalities. I'll tell you what I've learned in many years of my own experience and the experience of others: Despite our attempts to be monogamous and adhere to this cultural thing called marriage, humans simply don't work that way. Every relationship, especially a marriage, devolves into one partner dominating the other. Whether it's the man over the woman or the woman over the man. And due to the rise of radical feminism in the 1970s, and the ensuing “nice guy” persona that many men had to adapt after that, women have increasingly been dominating in relationships. But you can't change millions of years of evolution over night, so dominating women often have emotional problems because most of their DNA is telling them that *they* are the one who should be dominated. That's why they still lust after “alpha” males despite them saying that they want a smart “nice guy”. And of course pair this with the fact that our society has deemed women as eternal victims and have given them the legal power of child support and alimony, most women choose to divorce rape their husbands. For them it's like winning the lottery. They get to break the marriage and make money off of it, while fucking other men. They don't give a shit how it will affect the children. So that's why divorce rates have skyrocketed.

My advice to you: Go to marriage counseling. Find a therapist that's willing to address common sense steps to attempt to save the marriage. After you lay your emotional cards on the table, insist that she lay hers on the table. If she's anything like my ex wife, she'll cry and play the victim but won't do anything in a shared capacity to save the marriage. Then at least you'll know it's not *you*. Unfortunately, when it came to my divorce the lawyers and judge were lazy and didn't give two shits about the testimony of the marriage counselor who straight up saw my wife's refusal to compromise anything and come to a shared solution of our conflicts. If your wife knows next to nothing about divorce laws, you need to cut off your internet and wireless phone service. The worst thing that can happen is she learns about the lottery that she can win. While you're out working for her and the children, she'll be surfing the internet learning about child support and alimony.

Finally, start cold calling every family law lawyer in your city and asking about getting a divorce, and make sure they know your name. Lawyers have a code that says they can't represent a client after they have spoken to the opposite party. It will be in your best interest because if you talk to all of the divorce lawyers in your city they can't represent her if she tries to file for divorce. Watch the Netflix movie “Marriage Story”. It will teach you about how women are, and how lawyers work, and how the man gets ass fucked in a divorce, especially if there are children involved.

SparkyMcBiff · 2020-02-17T16:14:28+00:00

Some women are just mean bitches.

I'm happy because I never got married and will not tolerate any female being a critical bitch.

I'm MGTOW and loving it.

writefromwork · 2020-02-17T15:59:03+00:00

"I do admit I have not been the greatest husband" Is this her definition or yours? My guess is it is hers alone.

"She keeps telling me to fix it even though my attempts are marked as pathetic and basically receive no credit." You will never "fix" yourself to her satisfaction or that of anyone else. This is how she keeps you under her thumb and under her influence - "criticism and being verbally beat up about what I have done in the past."

"I take care of my kids but since I talk to them when they misbehave, I'm still not enough of a disciplinary and called a big brother." Not all disciplinarians need to wield force or threats where reason, genuine love and leading by example work as well or better. The modern women does not know how to spell the word discipline much less understand the concept and the value of the concept. The modern woman's guide to parenting - blame shift, yell, scream, verbally abuse, physically abuse and use bribes to keep the children quiet.

"And it almost seems like my spouse holds everything against me as resentment." You have a closer bond with the children than she will never have. You are a better more effective parent than she can ever pretend to be. She knows all of this is true and resents you.

"I feel more trapped now than I ever was as a kid. I'm lost and it's depressing. I'm viewed as the bad guy and there seems to be no support. I'm just suppose to exist and take care of everyone without anyone to turn to." Time to put yourself first. Embrace the "bad guy." He is the only friend that has your back in this world. Fix yourself to your satisfaction alone if you feel that is necessary.

I was in your shoes 20 years ago. All my so called friends abandoned me as the first dark clouds of divorce gathered over me. Do not give up on yourself. Survive each day as it comes. Limit your communication with your ex. The only topics to discuss - the raising and welfare of your children and divorce. Ignore everything else. She will never stop putting you down. She will not allow you to break free. To keep a hold on you she needs to keep you doubting yourself. She needs your confidence broken and you at your lowest. Live your life for the only people that matter - you and your kids.

Speak with a lawyer and assess your situation. Get your affairs in order and file for divorce when you are ready. Say nothing of this to her. Shock, awe and anger once the papers land in front of her. Once you file let your lawyer do the talking, that's what you pay him for. The first step is the one that causes the most fear. Inaction multiplies fear. Take the first step.

How to fire your wife

This guide is dated but it can point you in the right direction.

roxon89 · 2020-02-17T19:17:18+00:00

I went through a similar experience. I was kind, faithful, a loving father and a good provider. We had two great kids, nice house and a thriving business and my ex flushed it all for the cock carousel.

I learned something during this and it applies to virtually all women. And that is this....

They are never satisfied. There is always something wrong. Always something to complain about. Always something that could be better. Always something you aren’t doing to their satisfaction. And what they want changes with the breeze.

And your job as the man is to be constantly putting out her never ending steam of emotional wildfires that keep popping up like the worlds shittiest whack a mole game.

Hang in there man.

myoldxt · 2020-02-17T06:24:21+00:00

I get it bro. I was there

Solo_and_Simple · 2020-02-17T19:45:41+00:00

Sounds like you have been on the receiving end of a lot of verbal/emotional/psychological abuse. If you were a woman, you'd get tons of sympathy, but since you're a guy, you're just supposed to muscle through and shrug it off. You'll get that response from both men and women, unfortunately. Hopefully you can find some men who will empathize to some degree. Perhaps reading material on the effects of verbal abuse? I'm not sure what to suggest, but I hope you find your way through what sounds like a really rough period. If you seek counseling, make sure it's a male counselor and he's not a simp.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-02-17T23:54:14+00:00

You'll never make her happy and she'll never stop thinking the blame is 100% you and 0% her. Once a female's mind goes that way, it's just convenient for her so why should she change? In her ~~mind~~ hamster she's done everything she can do and everything going wrong in her life (a) was your fault (b) is your fault now and (c) will continue to be your fault after the divorce.

Some women's idea of accountability is to put on a "I'm Supermom" t-shirt and blame their husband for everything.

The truth is a sour woman like this is probably well on her way to planning her life without you. You need a divorce lawyer and to get/stay out of denial here. You must prepare for a divorce even if it's just a chance of one, because if you don't, and it happens, you're going to be FUCKED if you're not WELL prepared.

With children, it's simple. If they are leaving your home bathed, fed and with their homework done, and you do your share of doctor appointments and interfacing with the teachers and/or daycare, then she can beat her chest all day and all night about her being parent of the year and you being the worst. But - if she goes full-on divorce and family law becomes involved, SHE can say you're an alcoholic abuser who's violent and YOU need to spend $$$$$ and years of your life to prove otherwise.

I would prepare for a divorce, be a top dad aka top PARENT with the kids, and don't do things that make her even more upset. If trying to discuss things and work things out is just a chance for her to shit on you and drudge up the past, that's bad news. She's making herself think of you as hate-able and unlovable so she'll feel less guilty when she dynamites your family. You're probably not a bad guy. Not the best, not the worst. But when a spouse starts referring to you as the worst male on the planet, there is a valid (but gross) psychological reason why she's doing this in such an unfair, irrational and unfounded way:

She needs to set up her 'post-divorce feelz' safety net so when she pulls the pin she can walk away from the home she blew up and say "Ahhhhhhh! What a relief! I did this for me. I love me. Me so awesome. No need to feel guilty - he was 100% bad and I'm 100% good"

That's how the female hamster deals with divorce.

Also take note of her making new social contacts, doing things that will improve her financial independence, and taking better care of her appearance. All of these point towards her planning her exit.

Lawyer up. Be smart. Don't fight. If she wants a divorce, give her one, but tell her upfront she'll get zero dollars if she tries to take the kids because you'll spend everything you have fighting it.

Bottom line: she's making the home miserable and insufferable so nobody can later blame her for leaving - not even herself. Clever hey?

Equivalent-Craft · 2020-02-18T04:06:18+00:00

Buy a big diary. Document everyrhing, legal advice, hide some money...youre the only one that can make change👍

TigerSkull79 · 2020-02-18T14:44:32+00:00

Shit I get you bro. Was married (technically still am, but not seen her in 2 years) for 10 years. All I did was walk on egg shells every damn day in case I said the wrong thing and started a one way argument. I say one way because I don't argue back, never seen the point. I was a pretty attentive loving husband, but that was never enough, nothing was ever enough. She left me in the end and it was the best thing that happend between us. I am a million times happier than I've been in a long time. Don't get me wrong it was horrible and miserable for over a year (still get down every so often, dont we all). I can do want I like when I like though now, never have any feelings of dread when going home to the dog like I did the ex wife, he appreciates me, haha! Good luck bro, whatever you do, do it for your happiness!

Poofysmoof · 2020-02-17T08:26:13+00:00

Just wait till you’re have to move on and you realize there is no relationship equity.

Title	Recently separated
Author	poopmanpoop64
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	February 17, 2020 5:21 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/f53s67/recently_separated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/recently-separated.810124 https://theredarchive.com/post/810124

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