Stuck in LTR?

30203forever · 2021-02-03T20:48:10+00:00

She's 27 so you can expect the marriage ultimatum pretty soon. And from there, you'll have two available options: either indentured servitude or freedom because guess what, once you say "No", her "love" will instantly evaporate without any trace.

tsoos · 2021-02-03T20:53:12+00:00

Take this from someone who stayed in two relationships long past their respective expiration dates out of fear - you need to break up with her. If your head and heart aren’t in it and you’re staying out of fear of hurting her, you’re only delaying the inevitable and stringing her along. Every moment you spent with her is a lie on your part. This isn’t just a phase since you mention that it has been two years since you started feeling this way. You need to be a man and let her go to potentially find someone who will be fully devoted to her, while you try out being “free” (as you put it) to further grow as a man. Don’t be like a woman and stay in an unfulfilling relationship waiting for something better to come along to monkey branch to. You are a man, act like one and state your true intentions to both her and yourself.

264frenchtoast · 2021-02-05T20:11:06+00:00

Thank you for posting this, I think it speaks to a lot of us. I personally have had both: the nightmare codependent abusive BPD partner you hear about a lot on this sub as well as the kind you described. Either way, I found myself longing for space, solitude, and freedom. Maybe I’m just too much an introvert.

GTFO_Lmao · 2021-02-06T09:15:58+00:00

Is there a lot of red flags around her? Does she annoy you? How does her presence prevent you from doing what you want to do? The only two rules I follow is 1.) no marriage 2.) no cohabitation

You are cohabitating, so if you do break up, you have to figure out the schematics of how that works. Unfortunately, if you do break up, you have the responsibility to make sure it’s a clean break up. You can just bail, you will have to make sure she has a place to stay, plus dealing with leases or mortgages or whatever the situation is.

If you are conflicted, have a general idea of an escape plan, and just continue on business as usual....but do what you want to do. If it starts to trigger her it might lead down the road of her leaving you.

If it doesn’t, you can reevaluate the relationship. If you seem happier with just doing whatever and she’s cool with it, it might be better for you. If it’s not then you know you have to have that hard conversation.

BonjourReturn · 2021-02-03T21:41:06+00:00

Well it is simple. If you are not happy in a relationship, it may become more and more toxic (have the same exp at a lesser extend as i was not married and "young") but it was also slowly killing me.

Either talk about it. It will be a hard discussion. Either just leave if you cannot bear it. A relationship is not a work to be done, it should be enjoyed etc.

tsoos · 2021-02-03T20:47:22+00:00

Do you love her ?

pat-eymsham · 2021-02-04T10:06:00+00:00

End the relationship, now - for your benefit and for hers. This is the mistake I made, each time I got close, it was easier to stay. We had some really good times together, but they ever outweighed the downsides.

Now, years later, and with kids who I am not going to hurt, I am stuck in a relationship I detest. If I had split up, she would have been devastated, but most likely she would have got over it and found someone else who might really love her. As it is, I am living a lie - and so is she, it is just that she doesn't know it.

TL;DR; Split up now, it will be better for both of you in the longer term, even if it does not feel like that now.

Edit: Yes, it is hard, it was too hard for me. It will be difficult.

georeddit2018 · 2021-02-05T00:07:46+00:00

If you feel like you want to explore other girls, why not talk to her and explain the issue to her. Some girls are cool with their man seeing other girls.

Maybe if you try out other girls, you may not like them or maybe you will. Be honest and talk to her about your dilemma.

tsoos · 2021-02-07T13:05:16+00:00

End it, you'll never feel satisfied, I wanted to feel happy but all I had in this 4 year old relationship was the same as, you the feeling of "okay". You can stay with her out of pity but you'll never find true happiness. Trust me I just broke up with my gf of 4 years and now I feel free. We're still friends but I'd rather be single.

I ended up sexting for 1 and a half year and had constant anxiety over it (I was also a porn addict). Only you can decide, but as many stated your relationship might end toxic if your heart isn't in the right place.

Title	Stuck in LTR?
Author	tsoos
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	February 3, 2021 6:44 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/lbust6/stuck_in_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/stuck-in-ltr.802436 https://theredarchive.com/post/802436

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