Am I doing monk mode self-destructively?

BluepillProfessor · 2015-08-07T18:57:55+00:00

How about this: KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!

Can you hear me now? Dude:

following the advice of this sub, I'm waiting 'til I'm not a fat piece of shit.

Can you point to a single person who has advocated not initiating until everything is perfect? Didn't think so.

Initiate if you want. This covert contract is spilling over the internet. You are going to obsess about slight improvement and damn it, she has to fall on my cock begging for it before I man up and go for it. I don't think so.

Initiating IS part of being high value. Fuck her good, the rest will follow.

I, like your therapist, am in awe at the power of the male hamster- it can turn rocks and shoals into machines but-fuck can it screw you up.

marxistbacon · 2015-08-07T19:05:52+00:00

The look on my therapist's face suggested I'd just said something insane.

Context is everything. She was probably hearing you make a classic "I have no self-worth" statement. Which is different that what you're trying to convey.

But at the same time, I think you want to be careful how you phrase this, even to yourself, to avoid building limiting negative self-beliefs. It can be a fine line. When you said " I don't feel that I'm high-value enough to be desired by a woman with her head on straight." there's a lot of potential to be sending yourself the wrong message, and internalizing a lot of negative, selfpdefating, pessimistic shitty attitude. You want to frame it as "My physical shape, which is completely under my control and is improving constantly, is not yet at the point where it attracts women out of the blue. However, my core essense is that I am of absolutely high value instnsically, and on recognizing that truth, all the other things I add, like getting into shape, working on my social skills, and so on, are just adding icing to the cake.". You're not trying to bullshit yourself that you're Brad Pitt, but merely accepting that you have a little work to do on yourself in the near term.

If that belief is at all legit, I fear that I'm reinforcing it now in a way that's counterproductive.

That's a wise thought, and exactly why you have to frame this as improvement, a plan, a goal, rather than dwelling on the fact that you're not done executing the plan and are at the goal yet. The things you tell yourself shape your reality and your vision. Keep the positive feedback, and lose the spurious negative feedback.

Countpudyoola · 2015-08-07T19:19:49+00:00

DUDE

There's being a realist and then there's actually having dangerously low self-esteem couched as awaiting self improvement.

Your wife married you. You probably look /are an approximation of the you that she married. EVEN IF you have a lot of other shit to work on.

Your woman's got some serious problems. Serious. I'm going to go way off the grid here and say the only real MRP shit you need to be focusing on is being a rock, and NOT uber dread inclusive at the moment.

Here's another disgusting nugget. To be frank. SMV is relative to your wife's perception of her own value. You really think she's considering herself to be at her best and top prize. You NOW have got a ridiculously higher relative SMV. Your marriage might have gone alpha to beta, but now is mired in hesitation and despondency.

hysterectomy, cancer treatment, premature menopause etc. you said in another post she's dying....

Be a rock, but bring her up. Be cheerful and try to bring her into some sexy times for keeping the intimacy in your marriage. Playfully but mischievously let her know you're good with alternates. Kill the stress. Go meditate. Figure out what's really going to be happening with your life later. This shouldn't be seen as selfish as I'm sure she'll enjoy the intimacy and togetherness doing something along these lines will do.

You can still work on yourself without being a monk. Jettison what happened 10 years ago. She's still with you. She shouldn't hold onto that bad time and you shouldn't hold it over yourself. The time for that is past.

Anon_Dutch · 2015-08-08T00:43:00+00:00

I'm not surprised by your therapist's reaction, what you said sounds borderline to me and to someone unfamiliar with TRP would almost certainly sound extremely negative and self defeating, as opposed to realistic and empowering. Similarly, monk mode can be applied either way. Summon the fortitude to interpret what you said yourself as the latter. You are a man, be one. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep lifting, keep reading, keep bettering yourself. Your life will improve soon, monk mode or not.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-08-08T06:39:26+00:00

These are covert contracts and are beta.

Read NMMNG and MMSLP. Stop blaming this sub for your bad beta choices. Here we think men should be horny cavemen and should initiate regularly.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-08-11T08:09:55+00:00

This is a low quality post. Read these guidelines, post less, and post higher quality stuff.

This is a gentle warning from a mod.

Title	Am I doing monk mode self-destructively?
Author	taon4r5
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	August 7, 2015 6:43 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3g5qfr/am_i_doing_monk_mode_selfdestructively/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/am-i-doing-monk-mode-self-destructively.201268 https://theredarchive.com/post/201268

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