I've always lurked all over Reddit but never posted. This sub made me want to post.

I'm sure every situation is a little a different but these principals are so great. Would love to get some pointers on implementing these a little better at home. About me:

About five years ago was in a bad marriage with a formerly hot wife that turned fat over 16 years. We married really young (whole other story) I also was out of shape at times, but had gotten into body building off and on for periods of time. Going from a fat 270 to a ripped 225 and back up until finally getting and staying dedicated. I am pretty much a natural alpha, but let beta tendencies creep in. For instance, if I wanted to go out without her I went out. If I'm late at work tough shit, I'm at work.

My wife always thought I was cheating. I never was (until the end.) I would be noticed by servers, bar tenders, random hot girls even while we were together places. Those girls would even think I wasn't with her, like she was my sister or something. Making her jealous was easy. Sexually she was DTF in any way I wanted anytime. For a fat chick it was good. But then I just got sick of her and if I was going to be accused of cheating then I was going to enjoy the benefits.

So I had a few plates (I just learned what a plate was this week lol but i had them) and then promoted one to LTR and divorced the wife. We had way more problems (she's in a what I consider a christian cult) than were fixable.

Fast forward to today. I realized that over the past few years I've allowed myself to change a lot for the negative. I married the LTR. She is insanely hot. An incredible body. She too is DTF anytime any way and she is fun to be around. She's 28, I'm 41 so that's a good spread too. I don't fuck around.

However, over the past few years there have been some problems. Like the Ex she is jealous. She is suspicious all the time. She thinks I'm chjecking out bitches even when I'm not. The jealousy has caused many, many fights in the past. Since lurking here I've realized I've been handling this wrong. Now, instead of engaging and getting pissed at her for her jealousy I just joke about it. "What are you doing on your phone?" - "texting bitches" "were you checking that girl out?" "Yes, but she's too fat for me - you want her?" that kinda stuff. It's helped a lot.

If she starts a fight, I leave. Last night she was acting bitchy and didn't want to do anything for dinner so I got dressed to go to the country club, said see ya and she goes "wait for me..." I gave here :10 min to get ready and she did and we had a great time. So yeah, this works.

My question for you guys is how to use this jealousy? I mean it is insane. She is literally a 9.5 and kinky as hell. Only thing thats not on the table yet is a threesome and thats an eventual goal. But the jealousy still gets old. I know it's root cause is that she cheated w/ me. But I want this relationship to work and don't plan on Nexting her. I've never intentionally applied "dread" but I think she is in a constant state of dread. Any pointers on this?