I started down the NMMNG road a few years ago and things have been going well, but lately I've slipped with too much beta behavior. A back injury has slowed me down for the last few months, so I physically haven't been capable of doing as much.

Anyway, the shit test. Here's the background: wife goes to bed last night, I stay up. Before she goes to sleep she asks if I've done xyz, I haven't, but I lied and told her I did. Really, I planned on doing xyz (things which I am rightly responsible for) before I went to sleep but I didn't want to listen to her nag about it right then and there. So I tend to X and y, and I sit down and play a game, z could wait until right before I went to sleep. At about 11:30 she gets up and complains because it's a work night and I need to go to sleep and z still wasn't done like I said it had. Now I was actually almost done and was planning on heading to bed and doing z in the next 5 minutes, so I simply told her she wasn't my mother and shouldn't treat me like a child, but I did z and went to bed. Next morning, she's still cranky. I tell her basically she's not my mother and can't tell me what to do. I left it pleasant with a "I love you, have a nice day" as I left for work and she continued to huff and puff.

Here's the test: I get a text from her that says "I'm sorry, I just miss spending time with you and I have trouble sleeping when you don't come to bed with me. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask you to come to bed at 11:30 when you have work the next morning. And I don't appreciate being lied to about xyz because you know you weren't going to do z, it's not fair that I have to pick up after you and treat you like a little kid, and I know you don't like it either"

So, obviously 1, I fucked up with the fib. 2, that isn't an apology 3, where do I go in response?

My thought is to just flip it, and explain that it's not unreasonable for me to stay up and to do things on my own schedule. But I don't think I need to justify myself either. I don't like the fake apology or the "I know you don't like it either" but I'm debating how much I want to correct her behavior.

This whole thing is sort of out of the blue and the sort of shit she threw at me years ago that caused me to change, but lately I've lapsed due to things being okay and she's had some external issues at work and with a close friend of hers that's made her... bitchier for lack of a better word.

Thanks in advance.