Seeing the recent posts on people trying to find a vision, purpose, calling and also about those that still retain anger, I thought I'd share my personal views on 'how to be happy' or find fulfillment in life and to live in a state of content. I'm only a novice writer but hope you find value in this and give you some direction on improving yourselves. I wrote this article for my blog but won't paste the link here, not sure if that is even allowed?

You go through life, wandering, living day to day, pursuing goals, all in the hope that you will be more happier. Yet you lack the satisfaction in certain areas of your lives that should come from a result of this pursuit. You lack an abundance of happiness. So the pursuit continues. More money, bigger house, better job, new partner, more bling, more fame, more success, ‘more of’ whatever, yet we continue to strive for it. No matter how much more of anything you get, you are not truly satisfied. You continue to yearn for being happy, you continue to search for it, hoping the next best thing will do the trick. Alas it does not. It does not quench the thirst. Even worse you hold onto anger and contempt. But why? Why are you not happy? Why do you continue to yearn? and why don’t you find fulfillment?

You are not happy because you do not live in the present moment.

You will be truly happy when you accept the present moment and accept that life is as it is. Be at peace with this and be at peace with every moment you live, in the present. Aspire to improve though, aspire to grow, aspire to develop yourself, and aim to be the person you want to be. Aspire to be great. But live life in this moment by accepting it. There is nothing you can do right this moment that will change the future. It is what you are about to do that will change the future. So accept that. Enjoy the moment and the journey by being present. Grace everyone with your presence and your undivided attention. Your spouse, your colleagues, your friends, your children. Allow them to enjoy your attention and your presence. You will then start seeing happiness. You will then find fulfillment.

You are not happy because what you say you will do, you do not do.

Inaction leads to unhappiness. If you want change, you need to take action. Your thoughts lack conviction. They lack certainty. They lack clarity. Moreover you lack the power to turn your thoughts into actions. You do not do what you say you will do. Reflect your actions with what you say and think. It may be procrastination or it may be over analysis-either way, you think too much. There is due diligence through deliberation. Then there is procrastination through over examination. Differentiate the two. Allow the chaos that is inside of you to turn into calm. Imagine the settle. ‘Ready, fire, aim’ your goals and you will then start seeing happiness. You will then start seeing fulfillment.

You are not happy because you wait for motivation.

Motivation is temporary. Your actions should be persistent. Motivation is merely a catalyst to your actions. An enzyme that can help you in your actions. Don’t feel like training? Force yourself to do 5 start jumps and 5 sit ups, and only five of each. See what that leads to. Don’t seek motivation for you can take action. That only leads to more procrastination. Treat it like sugar, let it quench your craving for sweetness and let it give you a short burst of energy, but don’t rely on it to fill you up. Like wise don’t wait for motivation it to enlighten you and force you to take action.

It is but a reaction to daily habits that you really need. Small daily habits that turn into a life style.

Set yourself realistic goals. Time based goals. Goals that you can measure, and articulate concisely. Then get off your arse. One minute, five minutes, twenty minutes. Spend as little or as much as you need. A small daily habit will get you much further than waiting for motivation to knock on the door. Allow these habits to form, solidify, and allow them to guide you. Allow them to lead you to a life where you realise your goals so you can start to see happiness. So you can start to feel fulfillment.

You are not happy because you do not provide value

You expect to receive from others instead of giving to others. You expect from others too much. Your expectations are too high. You subconsciously demand from others certain actions, from them to give value to you. But you are not the contributor nor the provider. If you do inadvertently ‘provide’, you expect obligation in return. So stop expecting from others. Allow yourself to be the infinite provider of value. Whether it is fun, excitement, a helping hand, a strong work ethic, or whether it is just your undivided presence itself. Give that to people and you will start to see happiness and will start to feel fulfillment.

You will be happy

You will be happy when you stop creating disconnects between your inner being and outer being. The inner being is who you are on the inside. It is how you feel at this moment, it is the knowledge that you hold inside of you, it is your thoughts and though process, it is who you are, it is who you want to be. The outer being is the aura you radiate to the world. It is your demeanor, your body language, your actions. It is how you interact with your environment and it is what you see when you look in the mirror.

So be as one on the inside and outside. Stop seeking validation based on a facade. Know who you are, what your purpose is and make it stand. Let if reflect on the outside. Let your energy rise from the inside to the outside, and as a whole, let your appeal be seen.

Do not make the mistake to prioritise only your inside as the outside can destroy or make your inner being. Your relationships, your work, your environment, your actions, every interaction in your life all help create the inner being. You cannot create a strong inner being if your life on the outside is flawed and stressed. Likewise you cannot create an appealing outer being, a reflection of yourself, if you deprive your inner being.

Working out, looking good on the outside but still craving burgers, fries, cigarettes, alcohol? Why? Why do you seek fake validation from a fasade you are creating? You are not at peace with yourself. There is a strong disconnect between the outer and the inner.

Working stressful hours, in a job you hate? Hopefully you are only doing it because you have no other means currently to support yourself or your family. Hopefully that is the only case. Otherwise why do it? Why are you depriving yourself of you? You have a right to live life. So take action. Take proactive action. Seek out a job where you can inspire yourself, others, where you can radiate your inner energy outwards. Where you can allow your outer being to shape the inner being.

So true happiness arises when your inner being resonates with the outer being. This resonance is created from living in the present moment. It is created by aligning your thoughts and what you say to your actions. It arises when you take calm and stop over analysing. The equilibrium arises from taking action.

Settle the chaos inside of you, be the epitome of stoic, inside and outside. Meditate. And when that inner being develops, allow it to radiate energy. Align that energy with what you are on the outside. You words, your actions, your habits. They are your outer being. Remove any disconnect between the inner and the outer being. Let the consistent energy of this radiate. Let it reflect to the world you are one and that you are at peace with yourself. Be happy from this. You will create happiness from this.