So...Apologize for the incoming wall of text, thank you in advance to anyone willing to read and offer advice. I could really use it...

I'm 28, have a great career in IT making decent money (~50k annual in OK with Dell) currently in LRT w/ college sweet-heart for the last ~9.5 years, living together for ~7 of that (more AFC failure, I know). I've engaged in sexual activities with like 3 girls during that time, ONS situations, LTR is aware of these.

I have no game, minimal emotional stability, and even less confidence. I've been doing the recommended reading, and have been working on my body for the last few months. Seriously excited about how much progress I've made and I do feel much more confident about my body, but emotionally I still feel like a child sometimes.

LTR is comfortable, she's my best friend and we can talk about anything and work out our problems, she's very logical for a female. Problem is this leads to co-dependency issues and emotional confusion on my part.

I really feel like most of the AWALT situations I've read on here don't apply to her, but that's possibly just a blind spot on my part.

Sex life...has been great for the last week, but horrible for 90% of the rest of the relationship. We've had more sex in the last week than we have the rest of the year combined.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. So, the reason I'm an idiot: There is a girl I work with who expressed interest (flirting, punching me when I tease her, physical contact, full smile/giggling during eye contact, etc.). LTR is curious about girls, and was comfortable with trying a friends with benefits/poly-girlfriend type thing...no idea how to describe that.

I've got out with this girl a couple times solo, pussed out and failed to close like a chump even though she literally asked me "Whats your favorite position?" (Shoot me, please). We all 3 went out to a fancy dinner and back to her apartment for drinks on Friday...nothing intimate happened but there was no awkwardness and it was really fun. If I hadn't fucked up today something awesome may have come of it.

I, being the emotional dunce I am, texted this girl with a slew of things that couldn't have come across as anything other than needy, insecure, and fucking stupid. So I'm sure I just fucked up any opportunity of that getting hot and heavy considering she hasn't responded.

Obviously I'm assuming that avenue is now closed to me, which really sucks but its my own fault.

In conclusion: I know I should probably go monk mode and be by myself for quite some time to sort out my own needs, but I'm afraid...I've had that emotional safety net/security blanket for so long I can't imagine not having it. Serious ONEitis issues obviously, for both LTR and this girl from work (Fuck me she is hot though...I suck at this).

I'm hoping a couple of you would be willing to take time out of your day to talk to me and offer advice...I could use a strong male role model at the moment. Could I sound any more pathetic?

Thank you all again for reading.