Looking on advice for setting appropriate boundaries. I'm not apologizing for elaborating.

irateMD · 2016-03-19T20:14:54+00:00

You are asking how to be assertive instead of verbally aggressive. WISNIFG is one of the original textbooks on assertiveness. It's in the sidebar. Read it. Apply it everywhere.

theultmatecad · 2016-03-19T19:55:37+00:00

I admire your taking a deep look in the mirror and finding qualities about yourself that are less than desirable. Specifically, the aspect of confrontation.

These acts of firing back show a man who does indeed give a fuck. It shows you need to bring your wife's thinking in alignment with your own. It's weak and supplicating even though you may think it's not because you are actively hostile when doing it.

So how does a high value man enforce boundaries without screaming and yelling like a bitch?

He removes his most valuable assets. His time and attention. You show displeasure by diverting your most valuable resource (your time) to other activities and people.

il-est-ressuscite · 2016-03-19T19:56:58+00:00

I don't think there are any methods you can use to accomplish that.

I'm probably older, possibly wiser, but patently, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Why don't you work on yourself first?

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2016-03-19T20:27:02+00:00

While I'm not prefect, I can admit I used to have a similarly flawed view of boundaries. If you close your eyes and envision your ideal boundary; what do you see? Many Men see a brick wall or a castle or something similarly insurmountable. I finally switched completely to a boundary made of a strand of tissue paper. It's the same as your castle but with far less effort. It's more effective for me. It's like I'm saying: Here's my boundary; dint break it. You broke it, darn. Now we have a problem. People that don't respect my boundary don't get my time. If you can't control yourself and respect me, we're done here.
The confrontational shit only brings an equal amount of determination from the other person to tackle your boundary. If you have control and demonstrate control (Stoic) that's when you've hacked the Matrix.

Also, stop trying to control her. That's only rewarding the behavior you claim you don't want. I didn't see anything about lifting in your post....

stonepimpletilists · 2016-03-19T21:50:57+00:00

How much of the requisite legwork have you done. A starting point can help with guidance

bogeyd6 · 2016-03-20T02:08:58+00:00

Hello,

I removed this post for the following reasons:

You have been a redditor for 6 hours, posted and haven't replied back on a post.
All of your questions are answered in the side bar material.
You obviously did not study the book thoroughly.
WISNIFG teaches these methods exactly.

If you want to post, I would suggest you go to /r/askmrp or perhaps post to the OYS thread owning that you are not owning your social situations.

Title	Looking on advice for setting appropriate boundaries. I'm not apologizing for elaborating.
Author	ElephantIn-TheRoom
Upvotes	1
Comments	12
Date	March 19, 2016 7:31 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4b4f8u/looking_on_advice_for_setting_appropriate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/looking-on-advice-for-setting-appropriate.200199 https://theredarchive.com/post/200199

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