TLDR: cultivate stoicism. It will pay dividends forever, and in every venue.

I am about a year into unplugging. There have been a lot of changes resulting from me putting into practice the lessons learned here and in a couple of other similar venues, but one in particular I wanted to focus on, which is at the heart of my newly recovered masclinity: emotional control.

For all of my marriage, when confronted by my wife's emotional shit storms, insane accusations, and hurtful jibes, my reaction was always the same..in that I REACTED. I felt hurt, and I showed it in various ways. Of course since I was a beknighted blue pill weakling, it never occurred to me to think, really think, about WHY she was acting this way. How could she treat me this way? How dare she? After all I have done for her? The ungrateful bitch!! Etc. Etc. ad nauseam. So , i would rage right back at her, sulk, try to reason with her, fail, get angry and hurt, apologize, engage the covert contracts. The pattern repeated itself in a grim, diabolical spiral.

I have since learned that thinking, deliberating, then acting not in haste, but definitively, is the core of manhood. So, I started at the bottom with STFU. To my utter amazement and delight, it worked! Instead of getting bogged down into an all night fight, getting no sleep, and feeling like crap for 2 days.. I rolled over, ignored her, and slept the sleep of the just. From there, I went on to AM. A wonderful side benefit to this is that now, while I still feel the anger, hurt, betrayal, instead of expressing them, I think about them. I ask myself "why are you feeling this way?" 'Is this fair of you?" If yes, then I might ask myself "Ok captain, so you fucked up. Now what?"

Instead of just feeling emotions and letting them carry me away to my fate, now, I feel them , pause, think about them, and try to understand them and learn from them. They no longer dominate me. So, in the middle of a fierce shit storm from her, F4 or higher, I can remain calm, steady, and confident. I still find her behavior appalling, but the more I see her raise a storm, the more motivated I become to maintain my calm. This is so empowering, for someone like me who used to throw a fearsome tantrum whenever I was working on a simple home fixit project and something went wrong. Now, when I fuck something up like finding out I made a mistake measuring AFTER I cut the damn wood., I just pause and say 'Well, that didn't pan out." and maybe take a beer break before resuming my work. Empowering, liberating, and enlightening all at once.

In some ways, I almost feel like a man who has been a drunk all his life, and is finally sober. I feel like I have a clearer vision keener judgement now that I am viewing things from a slightly higher plain. Sorry if that sounds high falutin, but thats the best way I can think of to express what I mean. Having the ability to not lose my shit, for me, is the first big step into a much better place. Now, even if my marriage busts up, I know I will be able to handle whatever comes after. Yes, there is more to red pill than just stoicism. But for me, it was an indispensible first step.

EDIT: I would not have been able to cultivate stoicism , had I not started and kept on lifting and hitting the gym 3 times a week. The obvious, physical results from lifting gave me a real world, tangible anchor that kept me moored. I cannot emphasize that enough.