Relationship Mission Statement

spexer · 2016-06-23T15:44:07+00:00

"It's a Trap!" - Admiral Ackbar

Seriously, the warning here is if this is something you are looking to do to then talk and share with your wife.

Hell it could get her on board! <--sarcasm

Your relationship mission statement should be reflected on, and be a part of your life goals and MAP. Some would argue they already did this when they wrote their vows.

I cannot help but think you are creating work all for the mental masturbation reward that you feel you have accomplished something by thinking about this stuff and creating some new imaginary goalpost and fleeting motivation to reach it.

Countpudyoola · 2016-06-23T15:52:36+00:00

Dear Diary:

Not my thing.

Scurvemuch · 2016-06-23T15:24:49+00:00

This belongs elsewhere I think, with background and showing some reading knowledge

spexer · 2016-06-23T15:30:36+00:00

It could work! Especially when it's attractively matted and framed to match the decor then hung lovingly in the dining room where one and all are free to ignore it as is customary with mission statements. Lol

killingblueme · 2016-06-23T15:50:58+00:00

This is a Harville Hendrix idea from "Getting the Love you Want". May show up in other places too, but that is where I remember it from in my non-RP readings.

Men lead by making decisions, women lead by consensus. Mission statements are consensus building exercises.

Here is the problem: If your marriage is in a bad place, if you have been the drunk captain and have not been leading, the joint mission statement is a weak ass attempt to get validation from the spouse without having to change or grow up and have the ability to really follow through or lead on it. It is pseudo-captaining: "Let's make a mission statement together" isn't really leading, now is it?

Are you hoping to get your wife to "buy in" to your vision? Do you have the solid manly core to project your mission and your goals into the marriage (i.e. do you HAVE any frame at all)? Are you willing to be a leader or do you want to co-captain? What is YOUR mission, what is YOUR vision for the relationship?

Write your own if you want to I suppose. But until you have your own mission and are living it, there is nothing for her to follow, and a nice, committee created mission statement with all it's politically correct language and softened tone isn't going to get her on board with anything.

PurpleVeteran · 2016-06-23T16:00:43+00:00

There are marriage vows and prenups, and you want to add another contract? Especially one about the "tone" of your relationship? If you want to negotiate more blow jobs or that she'll never get fat, then go for it. What could go wrong?

Or maybe you just promise never to "go to bed angry" or "be one of those couples."

Look, I've been married for a long time, and I can say that without question, the sheer tonnage of what I didn't know back then... forget the "blue pill" aspects, life just happens and you roll with it. People grow together, they grow apart, they have kids, get promotions or lose jobs, have long periods of shitty sex, or engage in passive aggressive behavior about small shit. Many of the ideals you hold now will probably be laughable to you in 10 years, and fondly remembered follies after 20.

Marriage is like surfing, it takes work to stay upright and balanced... or you're knocked off the board at the next wave. You can't plan it, you can't negotiate it, you just have to jump into the water and start swimming.

bogeyd6 · 2016-06-23T16:02:31+00:00

Hi, this post belongs to /r/askmrp I suggest that you post it there.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-06-23T16:05:18+00:00

I did this sort of but it was in my head, I was buzzed laying on my hammock and as I lay there, I thought, What do I want from this life & this marriage - now how do I get there?

I want my wife to be a unique woman as well as my lover. I'll ensure she makes time to get out and do her thing. I will ensure that I'm not the only one who has interesting stories to tell at the dinner table.
I don't ever want to experience a deadbedroom -I will maintain the highest standard and expectations when it comes to making love. I will remain UNpredictable and will keep this chick on her toes for all of our years together.
I want to be different than those around me. When I take my shirt off I want other women to look and men to size me up, I will either have them respect the physique or desire it. I want to be prepared for anything so I will ensure I lift, I run, and I climb & have fun physically.
I want people to improve by being in my presence. I want my confidence and masculine expression to make other men feel more comfortable being who they truly are. If I go with direct confrontation and refusing to be meek or submissive I want that to inspire others. Case in point I was told, not asked, but told I should not let my child lift weights. I then clearly and confidently corrected the individual with humor and wit instead of just going along with it like most men would have. If I'm wrong, so be it - I'm not perfect but you better be willing to stand your ground because I'm not just going to accept a differing opinion just because it would reduce the conflict.
I want to have a strong mind that enables me to share stories, remain witty, and better understand the world around me - so I decided to read more which led to me creating my reading list on the blog.
I wanted other men to reach this standard of joy and happiness in their personal life as well as with the relationship they have with their wife - so I created the blog and became more active on here.
I wanted to continue to improve personally as well as professionally so I applied to and was accepted to Grad School (which is why the blog has slowed - busy as fuck).
I wanted my kids to have a greater life than myself as well as always remaining true to themselves so I treat them as a boy and girl, I coach their sports teams, I maintain a standard and while I am firm I am fair and the kids fucking love me which shows I'm doing something right.

There is more, but basically I went on this spiritual journey of 'self' and every now and then I go back to it.

This 'Mission statement' isn't for her - it's for you. However you need to do it, do it. But don't type this thing up, hang it, then tell your wife to refer to it when making a decision - I don't see that going down too well.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-06-23T16:22:52+00:00

This may work before you get married as a precondition. What works in marriage is to be more attractive.

Title	Relationship Mission Statement
Author	Kickaxe
Upvotes	1
Comments	40
Date	June 23, 2016 3:22 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4ph9bm/relationship_mission_statement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/relationship-mission-statement.199831 https://theredarchive.com/post/199831

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