We're all familiar with the drunk captain/sober captain model of MRP. But I've noticed that people have different (and sometimes limited) ideas about what kind of a "sober captain" they want to become. Here's a list:

"The Commander" -- This seems to be a common one around here. When it's working, the wife and family recognize that the Commander is in charge, and they follow his lead because they respect him and respect his ability to lead them in a positive way. If you believe in the Commander model, then your wife's obedience and respect are important to you.

"Brad Pitt," aka Do you even lift, bro? -- Brad Pitt from "Fight Club" is a pretty common shorthand around here for a man who leads not by demanding obedience, but rather by building himself into a physical specimen that his wife and others want to follow through sheer animal attraction. Turn yourself into Brad Pitt, the thinking goes, and the rest will probably fall into place one way or another.

"Donald Trump" -- This one has been cropping up a lot lately as well. The Donald Trump model is all about frame and passing shit tests. He hasn't gotten where he is by DEERing anything. He succeeds by pulling the world into his frame.

"Indiana Jones" -- This is my own label, but the concept he represents is common enough -- Outcome Independence. As depicted on the screen, he's not particularly concerned with attracting the girl or anyone else. He's just pursuing his own cool hobbies and pretty much ignoring everyone else. If people want to join him, great. If not, also great. He's also not too tied up with success or failure. Raiders is pretty much one fuck up after another the whole way through, but he's having a blast doing his thing, so he DGAF.

"The Builder" -- The Builder is making something with his life -- building a house, building a career, building a business. Whatever it is, he's building his vision. His wife and others follow him because they buy into his vision. Note, though, that he's not just dreaming about a better future. He's the Builder -- he's actually building his vision.

Reading these boards, I sometimes think people trap themselves into thinking that one of these models is always the right one Different challenges call for different kinds of captains. Take elements of all of them and strike a balance.