Read the full post at The Family Alpha: http://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/02/15/voice-or-echo/

These are difficult questions to answer, especially if you haven’t killed your ego. You may think, “I’m marching to the beat of my own drum, owning my shit, and am the man with the plan…” except for the fact that you are basing your actions off of what you think others will say. Do you see the issue there? If you are not taking action from your own genuine desire to improve and get the most from this life, then you will never feel the void in your heart that is your masculine desire. You can find a mentor and I advise you to do so, but you cannot try to become that mentor. He is walking his path and as I’ve written about already, The Masculine Man walks his path alone.

When I was in the navy (fuck, I’m starting to sound like the old Vets) there was a guy who had been my mentor when I first checked onboard the ship. This story is 4 years after that initial meeting and I had since surpassed him in knowledge, rank, and positional authority. Still, he always held a special place in my heart as he was the first one to ‘take me under his wing’. To those who help me or take a chance on me, I am fiercely loyal to for life. To those why cross me or try to sabotage my plans, I never forget and even when I say I forgive, I don’t. But I digress…

During the middle of one of our deployments I found him alone…and he was crying. I asked what the issue was, to which he responded, “My wife told me (via email) she is sick of me being a pussy and that she wants to leave with the kids. I know she’s found someone else and I’m going to come back from this deployment to an empty house without my kids… Why can’t I be more like you, why can’t she love me, why can’t the other guys respect me, why am I such a fucking weak loser….”

Looking back, this may have been the seed that sprouted and grew into The Family Alpha. This was the first person I ever counseled on reclaiming masculinity in himself and ultimately as a married man. Notice, I said, ‘reclaiming masculinity in himself‘. I couldn’t make him ‘more like me‘, I could only guide him thinking and acting like the man he as supposed to be all along.

I’d like to point out before continuing on with my friend’s story: This plight is one that many men are facing. Those who push the female imperative are paying no heed to the mental health issues men are suffering from entirely due to their repression of self. They hold in their masculine nature to the point where it becomes this ‘dirty secret’ and the results are weaksauce men who lose everything they were promised if they did as they were told. This type of shit keeps me up at night, wondering if I could write a post or book that could bring this attention to the forefront of discussion. Ultimately I have this blog and I’m working on a book, but too many men will suffer entirely preventable deaths and sadness in the meantime.

Back to deployment

You know what the first action we took was? I made him come with me and the rest of the guys to the gym 6 days a week. He had always played the role of funny fat guy emulating Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson. When we’d get drunk he would be the guy doing the ‘Truffle Shuffle’ and while we’d all be laughing, his wife was never amused. Looking back, I should have addressed this earlier. I’m a people watcher, always observing and I had noticed her lack of enthusiasm several times. I just thought she was a bitch, at the time I was unaware that she was embarrassed in her choice of husband and by him being the Jester of the group, she had a low value male. This removed any validation from others and ultimately making her look like a low value woman.

Read the entire post Here: http://thefamilyalpha.com/2016/02/15/voice-or-echo/