I am kinda hesitant to make this post since I made one nearly days ago. But since I might not last much longer, might as well get this out, even if I deal with a negative response.

I think it can be clear for many of us that we are alone and we may just remain that way. And I doubt I'm the only one that basically feels like they have really died years ago. And you're simply unable to connect with people since that requires some form of intimacy and others peering more into your life as time goes on. For many of us, we get rejected and other people blame us and we blame ourselves when it happens. And when we repeatedly get rejected and fuck up, it makes us feel even worse. All you can see is that everyone else is getting their life together and they seem happy and content with life and you don't have any of it. So you shrink more in self-esteem, you have zero confidence and you may go on to even hate yourself. And you resort to other things (illegal drugs, alcohol, other types of addiction or dissociation, or antidepressants or whatever) just to get through the day. Even though you still remain stuck. And there is no healing or anything. You're stuck. And the simple fact is that you just have to be stuck dealing with it. Somehow.

That's basically what I have went through to get here. And that is what I'm dealing with now and it may continue for the foreseeable future. I try to make the best out of this but I know it's very little. However, since I'm basically trapped inside the house I live in pretty much, I'm not that surprised I'm slowly going nuts. Might end up hospitalized or dead or something before the month is over. Just wanted to say my peace. It may not go over well but......I guess I'll have to deal with it.