This is why I can't talk to anybody. Before I go on, I'll explain.

I have a big appointment coming up tomorrow because I have a mass amount of health issues on my part. Then out of nowhere, my mom informs me through text and a voicemail that my dad's oxygen has gotten low (again) and he might be taken to the hospital. She is accusing me of holding a grudge because I went NC (no contact) on my abusive father. I know later on.....since we live in the same house.....that my mom will knock on my door and go out of my way to confront me about this and saying I'm being selfish and even evil for not "forgiving" my father. And when I mean forgiving my father, I mean taking in his verbal insults and his threats and just....sitting there, taking it just because he's my dad. I am concerned that if I do reach out to him (I might anyway but later on....still....), I will be sucked into their world where both of them will force my hand to call him and check up on him. He has been sick before and has acted the exact same way as he has always been.

The reason why I can't even talk to anyone about this is because I have been met with judgment or misunderstanding. With others flabbergasted over how I can disrespect my parents like that when they have absolutely no clue over what I deal with on a daily basis. Every side does have a story. My side doesn't get heard. And I'm so alone and so isolated that I'm this close to breaking out and screaming at somebody.

I only posted this because I really needed to vent and I'm hoping someone gets it and doesn't judge me. I am going to the doctors tomorrow and I don't want more pressure on my shoulders. Which my parents do not get and refuse to understand (I have talked to them many times about this).

Anyway, like I said, I just needed to say my peace.