Just looking for support

Hello Gentlemen, this is my first time writing in anything like this for outside support. I'm 32 and have always kept things to myself and never expressed much of my emotions. I've been married now for 9 years and have an amazing 9-year-old son. some years ago, my wife and I agreed that keeping things to ourselves was causing damage to our relationship, so we should be more verbal about things that we felt, no matter the size of the issue. Over the years I've come to an understanding that my wife along with everyone else I have been close to does not honestly care about how I feel when we argue or begin to have disagreements. she cannot take criticism well at all. I have my flaws when it comes to arguing and I have had long thoughts about how I could handle things differently or maybe be a little more patient but even when I speak calmly she yells at me the moment she is mad. If I tell her to stop yelling and to speak to me the same way she exaggerates what I'm saying and makes it out to be that I'm perfect and she is just this huge fuck up. I've tried to keep things in but she will get mad if she finds out and I'm not so great with poker faces. if i yell back or match her energy then she will take it a notch higher but I don't have it in me to get that way. i dislike confrontation and I hate yelling. when we discuss our disagreements she bounces around from so many different things i can't keep up with what's the exact problem. if i try to insert something so i won't forget she will get mad at me for cutting her off, which is understandable but i find it hard to keep up with what she is exactly mad at. one problem is solved but here comes something else. i know that it's a common joke that women will never admit they are wrong and happy wife happy life but i just want to be able to speak and be understood which I feel like she never tries. Even when my words click on her, she will not allow herself to admit fault or even just acknowledge that maybe it wasn't how she initially took things. I love my wife but i am starting to feel like she is not someone i can be open and honest with. It hurts to write this because when she is in a good mood she is amazing in all ways but when she gets upset it's like there is an entirely different woman in front of me. My wife has had a rough life, no father, no family, her mother treated him like garbage. i love this woman but I am tired of not having my emotions validated. i want to be loved the same way that I am loved.