I am going to a hotel for a few days. This will be the first time that I will be out on my own, for an extended period of time, without a family member accompanying me. Despite how bad off I am right now, I think it could work out.

I need some space away from my house and my family. My physical and mental health has been declining. And even with everything I have done and everything that has happened, I'm still stuck in the same place. Well.....actually, I'm in a worse place. My urological issues have gotten worse to the point where recently sometimes all my mind can focus on is the pain. And now I have type 1 diabetes so me staying in my room all the time, especially when summer comes around and it gets to be 80-90 degrees all the time, that's not gonna work out for me.

Making the decision to go to a hotel was not an easy one. I planned to go before now but I was so overwhelmed by all the work I had to do and all the calls and appointments I had to go to. And I did tell my mom in advance too because if I didn't, she would just get pissed off and blow up my phone, wondering what I'm doing and where I'm going. And then, I'll have hell to pay when I get back home. I can understand this type of thinking a bit so that's why I told my mom in advance. And....at least for now, she's not upset over it. Which is a little surprising to me, especially when I told her that I prefer that we don't talk or text each other unless its an emergency.

Again, despite how bad off I am right now, I'm still going through with this. I have a lot more calls and appointments next month. So, I think it would be best to take a step back and really look at the affairs of my life and see where things are gonna go from here. There's still hurdles to get past. I still wanna advocate for men's rights, at least in good faith if I can. But I can't do it like this and I know I can't do it alone. So either way, I have to go and connect with other people for this to happen and to get the help I need. I'm still wary because I know the world isn't exactly a kind place but I am trying to make the best out of it.