Advice for going to event

dalsgaard · 2012-11-22T23:06:21+00:00

Don't have any links that are relevant to your country, but I just want to say this: You rock OP!

jbates8 · 2012-11-23T03:28:08+00:00

I'd recommend checking out A Voice for Men and reading a few of their introductory articles. There are a few on domestic violence and they include links to sources for stats and whatnot. Should definitely check them out.

Imthere · 2012-11-23T04:20:12+00:00

The way to ask questions and get away with it is to be stupid. If you're going to argue facts and evidence, they will counter with "patriarchy" and "rape culture". You can only lose that game.

Instead, try to understand their position. Ask deep probing questions, with an air of confusion and idiocy. You're on their side, but need clarification on a few confusing topics....

It's hard for them to get angry at someone who wants to help, even if he's making them uncomfortable.

And never lose your cool. If people get upset, it's because they're emotionally immature, and can't handle adult conversations. Just keep pretending to be an idiot, and it will become clear that the problem is them.

And practice. If you ask questions publicly, you're going to screw it up if you haven't practiced. Repeat the questions and possible counter-arguments to yourself until you have them down cold.

Post the results back here. I'm interested.

m388 · 2012-11-23T13:08:28+00:00

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. There may not be a problem, hopefully all that is needed is a look around.

I suppose I am just suspicious that's all. Particularly this (from the link I gave) "the opportunity for members of the public to sign the ‘Norfolk Says No’ Commitment Letter, which pledges to end domestic violence."

I am certain I have read about things like this before. A "pledge statement" that is specifically gendered. Men (and only men) are encouraged to sign, purposefully framing this as ONLY men against women. Doing a web search of those keywords ("pledge end domestic violence") turns up interesting results...

A pledge with the words "I will teach that strength and manhood are not defined by violence or domination. I will speak out even when it is more comfortable to be silent. I will join with other men, across our differences, to speak with one voice to say "no more." (http://www.coloradodads.com/index.cfm?page=82) Written by these people: http://www.safehouse-denver.org/what-is-domestic-violence

This is clearly problematic and one sided.

Agencies and Links that are involved with the above: http://www.coloradodads.com/index.cfm?page=83

On that list is a name that sounds familiar here. White Ribbon.

Doing more research turns up hundreds, literally hundreds, of organizations that are like this: http://www.acalltomen.com/page.php?id=51

Now that I think about it, I may call the venue and ask for contact details of the organization, I want more info than just that blurb on the venue site.

Also I came across this: http://www.safehouse-denver.org/what-is-domestic-violence/statistics

What are your thoughts on these stats?

And again any advice is much appreciated... While I have written about this stuff online before, I have not talked about anything like this with anyone out there in the real world, apart from a friend who introduced me to this stuff and also asking the woman in my local bookshop what her thoughts were on the book I was looking at. It was Rosin's "The End Of Men" (a recently released - scary, scary book - reading through it, she should just have called it "Hey! Hey Men! I want you FUCKING DEAD!"), luckily the store woman seemed to be on the side of reason - she said that a world with no men in it would be "a sad place to be".

I seem to be badly rambling now, sorry. Thanks to anyone still reading. Again, any advice at all is much appreciated, all I have is my friend helping me (he also helped me write this, so I need all the help I can get).

Thanks, a lot.

m388 · 2012-11-23T13:29:34+00:00

Friend showed me this: http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/the-state-of-play-for-men-domestic-violence/

Could be very good. I am going to try to double check the stats.

rightsbot · 2012-11-22T18:00:20+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

AManAlone · 2012-11-22T18:12:26+00:00

There are some good links on the side-bar, and from the top of my head Shady8x made a good post a few weeks back about the 'wage-gap myth'. As far as advice; I have none. Keep your chin up, go forth and do brother.

Title	Advice for going to event
Author	m388
Upvotes	11
Comments	14
Date	November 22, 2012 5:58 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/13mn5u/advice_for_going_to_event/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/advice-for-going-to-event.1008575 https://theredarchive.com/post/1008575

Comments