Child Custody Help

1ron_giant · 2013-12-06T02:44:23+00:00

Do you trust your lawyer? Do you feel they are competent? Then listen to your lawyer. Seriously, there is a reason they have to go to school.
Know what looks awesome to a judge? Stability. Document why you are more stable. Get your own place. Go to church. Dress like a respectable adult. Don't have any petty cop bullshit going on for fighting and drinking. Main thing is focus on selling your home and not on tearing down your ex. What makes you a good parent is the question you should be focusing on.
How will childcare happen while you are working? Can you afford to care for your child if the mom doesn't work and pay support? If you get called up for duty what happens to your child? Document that and show you are living that type of financial lifestyle.
Lipstick on a pig. Your ex is probably going to go through a magical transformation come court time. She'll clean up nice and be very respectful. This is why you document everything and don't let her goad you into doing something stupid. It's shitty but she just has to prove she isn't an unfit parent while you have to prove you are Father of the Year material. Sucks horse cock but that's the world you live in.
You may want to consider going for joint custody. That's what I went for cause it is the more equitable thing. But my ex isn't a bad mom, shitty wife but not a bad mom. You may want to go for the middle ground since you have to start think about the next two decades of interaction you'll have with your ex.
Seriously, you come across as being wound tight and like you are a six pack and a lonely night away from ending up in the back of a cop car for doing something stupid. Anything you do will be taken out of context and held against you. Find a safe outlet for your stress and freakin listen to your lawyer. Get the fuck off of Facebook, work out, and don't contact her unless it is specifically about the pregnancy.

rightsbot · 2013-12-05T22:00:17+00:00

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Karissa36 · 2013-12-06T04:53:00+00:00

Well OP, you have a hard road to travel.

First, back away from her. Follow your lawyer's advice in regards to documenting your offers of financial support during the pregnancy and after the baby is born. Otherwise, just back off. Respond politely and calmly to any contact she makes with you, but don't initiate contact. She is CRAZY. You are maybe an inch away from her deciding that you raped or abused her. Really, she is nuts. Start reading the site called Shrink4Men, which has lots of advice on how to deal with bipolar women. You need to protect yourself or you have no chance of protecting the baby.

Second, plan on a DNA test. The fact that she so promptly decided she wanted you to disappear is really suspicious. It suggests that there is a different father that she doesn't want to tell her parents about, and a DNA test would show that, so she wants you gone.

Third, the odds of you getting full custody of a baby are just about zero. Even if she is nuts, she is living with her parents who are presumably stable and able to assist in infant care. An 18 year old new mother without a job is not even remotely unusual. Be aware that you knocking up a 17 year old doesn't make you look like father of the year either. Document every whacked out thing she does, but you still will be lucky to get your child on only weekends until she is 3 years old.

Fourth, give up on any hope of keeping her from living with a new boyfriend. You have no control over her life.

Fifth, follow your lawyer's advice. That is your best chance for getting joint custody.

dog304 · 2013-12-06T08:25:09+00:00

All I would like to add (there is a lot of useful information here) is to sit down and inform your CO of what has happened. That way he can know not to believe her crazy stories and then he can do what a CO should do... look out for one of his men.

crankypants15 · 2013-12-06T13:42:24+00:00

She's has a history of being stable, did you get a paternity test? The baby may not be yours. Never pay CS without a paternity test.

Title	Child Custody Help
Author	dog304
Upvotes	3
Comments	21
Date	December 5, 2013 9:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1s6xs0/child_custody_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/child-custody-help.1156946 https://theredarchive.com/post/1156946

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